Everyone knows a person or two….or 50 who doesn’t particularly love Christmas Music. Every year around Thanksgiving they take to social media to lament the Fa-La-La’s, Silent Nights and trampled grandma’s that their spouses loop 24 hours per day to kick of the holiday season. I’m not in that group. I pretty much enjoy all Christmas Music, from quiet Classical instrumentals to Trans Siberian Orchestra bombast and everything in between. I like it all. Christmas Shoes excluded. What a horrible piece of pustulant emotional manipulation that rotting bag of desiccated entrails is. So I decided to compile a short list of decidedly Un-Christmasy Christmas songs. These songs make the list based on subject matter, tenor of the music itself or just having a vague tie in with the holiday season. Some are song’s you’ll recognize, but all of them are songs that I would listen to all year round, given the opportunity.
Fairytale of New York- The Pogues, featuring Kristy MacColl
This is above and beyond my favorite Christmas song. Only now I have to be careful while playing it around the kids, lest they show up in school singing about “Scumbags” and “Old Sluts”.
We’re All Going To Die – Malcolm Middleton
This song is decidedly not Christmas themed. It makes the list for two reasons. One, the drunken, bird-kicking, vomiting Santa video surely gets one in the holiday spirit and two, the song was hilariously campaigned by BBC1 to be the UK’s #1 Christmas Single for that year, and almost won. This is legitimately one of my favorite songs in general and should be on everyone’s Christmas playlist.
Father Christmas – The Kinks
This is one of those that everyone will likely recognize. It’s on the list because it’s a tune that would have easily been a classic in any genre, had the lyrics been replaced with anything not centering around Christmas. Considering the messaging, one could easily replace “Father Christmas” with “Prime Minister” or “Parliament Cabinet” and the song would be a rousing cry for assistance needed at the bottoms of society from those able to give it.
The Season’s Upon Us- Dropkick Murphys
This song really gets into the heart of the holidays. It’s all about family and the horrible, horrible people your family can be! It’s a rollicking sing-along that you should get grandma to join in around the fire this Christmas.
Oi To The World – The Vandals
While the Vandals are a long shot away from being a great Punk band, they did a good job crafting a good Christmas tune with all the Punk sensibilities the late 90’s punk scene could muster. The accompanying album, with the asinine jokes that plagued a lot of punk in that era, held other distinct non-classics as “Christmastime for My Penis” and “My First X-Mas (As a Woman)”.
I Wish It Was Christmas Today- Julian Cassablancas
Cassablancas, best known as the lead singer of The Strokes knocked out this excellent Christmas tune that blends the garage grit his music is known for, with minimalist organ and upbeat tempos. Also, jingle bells.
Black Christmas- Poly Styrene
Want to be dragged slowly into another person’s depression to a lovely upbeat reggae backdrop? Well then I present Black Christmas. Poly Styrene (Frontwoman for punk band X-Ray Spex) brings you this delightful Christmas ditty apparently inspired by an actual serial killer who dressed as Santa. Yay!
Christmas Was Better In The 80’s- The Futureheads
What can I say about this song that the title doesn’t already say? That’s some straight up truth.
Merry Christmas, I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight- The Ramones
Let’s face it, this is going to sound pretty much like every other Ramone’s song. Only this time, they sing about Christmas!
Christmas Wrapping- The Waitresses
Another tune that you’ll definitely know, but added to the list because it also can stand on its own had it not been a holiday song. Following missed opportunities for love and the eventual happy ending thanks to cranberry, it’s a perennial favorite from the same band that brought you “I know What Boys Like” and “Hangover 1/1/83”.
On a side note, check out Sufjan Stevens’ Songs For Christmas album on Spotify or wherever you’re getting your music. It’s a kickass blend of classics hauntingly updated, and new songs that could become classics in your house.