Remember the scene from Crocodile Dundee when Paul Hogan was riding an escalator for the first time? He was confused and scared, not knowing if he would make it out of the situation alive. In a more modern film, Will Ferrell was equally confused when taking an escalator in Elf. I had a similar experience this weekend when I rode an escalator for the first time with my daughter and a stroller in tow.
Crocodile Dundee was one of my favorite movies while growing up. I always laughed watching this Australian learning about our culture for the first time. He made the simple seem impossible. In a way, the film is much like parenting for the first time: You are experiencing something new every day, and often have no idea what you are doing.
I have taken rides on many escalators in my day. I have gone forwards on them. I have gone backwards on them. I have sat on the moving railing at times. I have even jumped off escalators when there are still a few steps to go. Since I was a kid, I was always intrigued by these machines. Where do all of the steps go? How long do the steps stay completely flat for? Why do escalators seem to break so often? Why do I still like to walk the broken escalator rather than the steps? There is just something cool, unique, and mysterious about an escalator.
It had been years since I have analyzed an escalator. This past Saturday I approached the upcoming escalator with calm and confidence, even though I had my baby in a stroller along for the ride. I went in head first, when Lucy said, “You should go backwards…it is easier to balance.”
This completely threw me off…I jumped off the escalator, and turned the stroller immediately. That is when time seemed to stand still. The next thirty seconds felt like an eternity. I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it.
As I re-approached the escalator, walking backwards, there seemed to be hundreds of people lining up behind me, as if this was some spectacle. They were watching, pointing, and laughing.
There is no room for hesitation when stepping on to an escalator, and I’m not sure I have ever looked more awkward in my life. I took a stance with my feet two steps apart, and holding on to the stroller with everything I had. Two of the stroller’s wheels weren’t even touching the ground!
The escalator slowly approached the second floor, and I laughed uncomfortably, telling the thousands of people behind me, “This is my first time riding with my daughter.” They pointed and stared, not quite sure why I was turning this into such a big deal. You’re only on an escalator, man.
In what seemed like hours later, we were almost at the finish line. This is when I went into panic mode. How was I going to get off of this thing, with my baby and stroller in one piece? Would I have to sacrifice myself?
The steps starting disappearing, and then there were only four left!
Three. Two. One.
I jumped off of this creature that seemed to be alive, and somehow managed to hold on to the stroller, and my baby didn’t feel a thing.
I made it.
I am Daddy Dundee.