Dave Barry – My Life of Dad

For years humor columnist Dave Barry has been entertaining us with his take on life. Recently Dave added to his fantastic collection of work with his new book, “Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster).”

In this book Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner’s permit this year. He also explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un–Mad Men.

Barry also talks about the silliness of cable news and the benefits of Google to the loneliness of high school nerds, from the perils of home repair to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin’s Russia. Sounds interesting right? Make sure you check out his book on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

I was able to talk Dave about his new book, writing, the internet, beer and fatherhood.

Art Eddy: Let’s first talk about your new book “Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer Is Much Faster).” Can you tell me what fans of your work can expect from your latest work?

Dave Barry: The usual random humor. We always try and pretend that there is a theme. In this case there are several essays in there about being happy. There are also essays about being unhappy. It is just a bunch of original humor essays on a bunch of topics. There are some parenting topics in there.

AE: Was there any inspiration that made you start thinking of writing this book?

DB: Well yes. I signed a contract. (Both laugh.) No, this is what I do now. I used to write a weekly humor column. Every week I would write a 600 to 700 word humor essay. About ten years ago I decided that I really liked it more when I could sometimes write longer or shorter. Do things that really didn’t fit a newspaper column format. So I started writing these essays. This is a book of those.

AE: Since you do mention beer in the title of this book, do you have a favorite beer?

DB: It is more about the beer that I don’t like. I really detest light beer. I don’t understand why we don’t track down and prosecute those who made light beer. You know those people who say that if I had a time machine that they would go back in time and kill Hitler? I would do that. I would kill Hitler, but first I would go find the guys who invented light beer. We have raised a young generation of young Americans, who are getting older now that actually believe light beer is beer. I just want to stress to them that it is not.

AE: You have an incredible collection of work. Do you approach each book the same when you start to write?

DB: In the sense of when I start any kind of essay or book I always have the same thought in my mind, which is I got nothing. (Both laugh.) I think that this is true of any writing. The myth about writing is that when you sit down you have all these ideas in your head. You just let them flow out of your fingers and into your keyboard.

That really isn’t what writing is like. Writing is like I don’t have anything. I am terrible. I am bad. You struggle and spend time on it. Gradually it takes shape. You have something. You work more and more on it until it gets better and better. I know I am making writing sound like hard work and I know that it is not. It is not like coal mining. It is not physical work. There is a lot of insecurity about it with good writers. Terrible writers never have that problem. They just sit down and think everything that they write down is great. They produce the light beer of writing.

AE: Is there a favorite place you like to go during your book tours and do you have any funny stories from your time on the road promoting a book?

DB: There are certain cities that are just really good book tour cities. I don’t always go to them. For example Denver, Colorado. I don’t know why, but the crowds are always good there. The media is always really good there. The people are really nice.

San Francisco. Maybe it is because it is a really nice city and I don’t really get out there that much. There is a little of being a tourist when you are out there. You get to see the city a little bit. So some cities I really like. Some and not to diss the city, but L.A. is really not a great book tour city. You would think it would be, but it is very oriented towards TV and movies, not books. So it is really not a great book scene there. Maybe it is just that they don’t like me. Seattle is also a terrific book tour city. Portland is too.

AE: With the internet mostly everyone has a blog or website and feel like they are a writer. What are your thoughts on how the internet has opened up to let anyone say that they are a writer?

DB: Well it is good and it is bad. I love the internet. I was an early adopter of all types of technology out there. Most of the reading I do is on the internet. I find it to be an incredible information resource. In that sense it is great. You get exposed to views and all kinds of information that you wouldn’t be exposed to if you relied on just traditional mediums.

The other side is what you said. Everybody can be on there. There is a high number of idiots. (Both laugh.) I would say that the biggest example is the comments section of pretty much anything. It is not a majority of people, but it is just so easy for some moron to get on a comment section and just wreck it. You see a lot of that.

It kind of sorts itself out like the way it does with anything. In the end if what you have to say is just stupid, boring, or insulting, people will just stop reading it. That has been true forever. There are more people competing for your attention now. In the end you weed it out. I blog. I tweet things out. I interact with people. In the end I think it is more of a good thing than a bad thing.

AE: Now switching to fatherhood, what are some of the morals or ideals you looked to pass on to your children as they were growing up?

DB: That they should be really worried that their father is a humor columnist. (Both laugh.) Every child is embarrassed by their parents especially when they are adolescents. It is multiplied by millions when your dad is a humor columnist.

I once got a call from the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile people. They were going to bring the Wienermobile to Miami and offered me the opportunity to drive it for a day. I said sure I want to do that. I picked my son up. I didn’t tell him that I was going to do this. I picked him up at middle school in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, which is probably the low point in his life. Everyone else has a regular car waiting for them. He comes out of the school and there is a giant hot dog with a loud speaker saying, ‘Rob Barry, please report to the Wienermobile.’

I have a daughter and she is fifteen now. I think I have the same reaction to having a daughter as most dads do. I don’t like boys. I have discovered that. I just don’t like them. They come around. My wife says that I am not nice to them. I tell her I know I am not. I don’t like them. She says to me that they are nice. I say no. They are boys, there is nothing nice about them. I propose to have a steel trap that I put right outside the house. A humane trap. When the boys come it will slam shut and trap them before they get into the house. I live in Miami. I will release them into the Everglades. That is the way that I would like to deal with boys.

AE: What are some of the traits that your kids get from you?

DB: I think that both my son and my daughter have a good sense of humor. They grew up with a guy that has never been serious about anything. They developed early on a very powerful sense of sarcasm, which I think will serve them well in the rest of their lives.

Neither one of them wants to be a humorist for a profession, which I think is good. (Both laugh.) It is kind of a negative thing to learn from me, but they did learn that they didn’t want to be like that. So they both have that. I was in the newspaper business when my son was growing up. He ended up at the Wall Street Journal, which is where he is now. I told him that this business is dying. Apparently the Wall Street Journal is doing well so he is alright.

AE: What advice do you have for new dads out there?

DB: This is not meant to be funny. This is the advice that you would hear from anybody that has a kid. It is going to be over so fast. It is impossible to believe this when you are not sleeping the first seven, eight, nine months. You are wondering when you are going to get to the next stage. The next stage comes by so fast. By the time you realize that all the stages are done your kid is off into the world. That is wonderful and you are happy for your kid, but you really got to savor the time that you have.

Life of Dad Quick Five

AE: What is your favorite family movie you guys like to watch together?

DB: My son and I would watch “Star Wars.” We have watched it about 53 million times.

AE: Do you guys have a favorite song that you all like to sing and dance to as a family?

DB: No. I first have to say that my son would be too embarrassed to do anything like that. My daughter listens to all this new music. I drive the soccer carpool. I listen to the music that her and her friends listen to. It is all about the size of people’s booty. So I don’t dance to booty songs. (Both laugh.)

AE: Describe the perfect family vacation.

DB: Our favorite thing to do as a family is sailing believe it or not. We would rent a sail boat or charter a boat like someplace in the Virgin Islands where it is warm. There is nothing to do except just enjoy the time together.

AE: Was there one book in particular that made you want to become a writer?

DB: Nothing in particular. I read a lot of humor books when I was a kid. I read “Mad Magazine.” I read cereal boxes. I read Bazooka Joe comics. I read a lot of crap, but I loved to read it. I love jokes. I always have loved jokes. The idea of reading was immensely appealing to me as a kid.

AE: What is your best cure for writer’s block?

DB: To me writer’s block is a normal state for a writer to be in. You always start with the feeling like you got nothing. When writers become successful they want it to become easier. They can’t except that it will be easier. There will be days where you will produce one sentence and it won’t even be any good. To me that is the normal state. I’m always thinking that my stuff is terrible. I realize that I have no useful skill. I have to keep going and write. (Both laugh.)

Follow Dave Barry on Twitter and get his book “Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer Is Much Faster)” here!