Babs now sleeps 12 hours each night (which I surely just jinxed). I now once again have the freedom to do whatever I want to at night. Below is the list of what I can now accomplish each hour of the night if I really wanted to…
7PM: Cook a chicken cordon-blue dinner.
8PM: Host a dinner party with the up and coming politicians from Peru.
9PM: Watch an entire “Real Housewives of Wherever” show with my wife.
10PM: Pet Mr. BoJangles…actually, I have time to braid his hair. He needs dread locks.
11PM: Explain to confused people that Mr. BoJangles is a dog, not a neighbor.
12AM: Go to sleep after having two shots of NyQuil. Love that stuff.
1AM: Wake up and have a glass of wine (or a manhattan)… because I can.
2AM: Dream about Triscuits, Wheat Thins, and Cheeze Its.
3AM: Go cow tipping.
4AM: Start collecting cans and bottles from the neighborhood. (My brother-in-law pointed out that the bums in our area are very motivated…having a clean shopping cart ready to go really early in the morning, starting another productive day.
5AM: Jog to the beach and back (15+ miles…but I could do it…)
6AM: Head to the local Holiday Inn for a continental breakfast. Warm grapefruit juice.
7AM: Hug my kiddo as she wakes up.
Again, I’m not saying I do all this stuff. In fact, I only do the last one. Well, the 12-2AM options are always a possibility too.
Sleep, Babs, Sleep.