One of my favorite memories growing up was playing outside with my friends. I can recall the days of when I was growing up in Illinois. During the summer months I would be outside from morning until dinnertime. As long as I told my mom where I was going and who I was playing with she was fine with it. I don’t remember her having the need to follow me wherever I went with my friends.
My family and I lived in a suburb of Chicago called Naperville. I lived there during the time when I was in second grade to sixth grade. The cool thing for me was that I had a lot of kids around my age to play with. From basketball games to freeze tag to water gun fights my friends and I were always doing something.
I was able to walk to school with my sister and our friends. As a kid you never think about the dangers from the outside world. So looking back now I guess my parents must have been comfortable with me out and about in the subdivision without them having to be right behind me.
Fast forward to the present. Let’s look at my parenting habits. My daughters are not allowed to play outside unless I am there. Granted my daughters are five and three years old, so of course many parents reading this would say “Yea you should be with them. Look how young they are.”
Yet in my neighborhood I see kids that are my daughters age roaming around the yards without a parent around them. I am not judging them, (well maybe just a little…okay maybe more than a little) but I would always think about where their parents are at?
Do those parents have more of the mindset my parents had when I was growing up. The world we live in now is supposed to be a lot scarier and a more dangerous place right? In theory shouldn’t I always be around them when they are outside? I consider myself to be an optimist, but people reading this might think just the opposite.
This issue came to light this past week. It was about five o’clock and I was getting ready to prepare dinner. A friend of my oldest daughter, Lily who is five, came to the door and asked if she could come out and play. Lily was jumping up and down with excitement and started to get her shoes on.
I told Lily’s friend that she could come out and play after dinner. Her friend said okay and left.
Lily on the other hand didn’t take the news so kindly. She wanted to go out and play. She kept asking me why she couldn’t play with her friends without me being there.
I told her that I am the only parent home and I need to make dinner. I explained to her that mommy and I always want to have one of us with them when they go outside to play. I might be a bit too cautious, but that is the way my wife and I run our household.
Once I assured her that she could go out and play after dinner was over she settled down.
While I prepared dinner I thought to myself that I might be a bit too paranoid. Should I have let her gone out and play without my supervision? What changed from when I was growing up to now? There probably was the same amount of kidnappings when I was growing up as there are now. Is it just that we see more of it on the news?
Maybe when my daughters get older I will be fine with them playing outside by themselves. Like when they are 30. I really don’t know what age my wife and I will be comfortable to let them be on their own. It could also be that since I have daughters I am just an overprotective father. I guess it is just my parental instincts that say for right now I need to be with them. I am also considering to build an indoor play area at home so I might send trade enquiries for soft play to a company that specializes in indoor play centers.
For those who are kind enough to read this what are your thoughts? How old are your kids and do they play outdoors by themselves? I am not saying that I will budge to peer pressure, but I am curious if I am in the minority.
Ultimately the way we choose to raise our kids will always come from my wife and me. I just want to know if this is an issue that other parents face or it is just a “me” issue.