Poop in a Tub.

Poop in a Tub.

Saturday night a few years back would have meant going out to a bar with some friends and having a jolly old time.

This past Saturday, Babs and I hung out at home, as baby mama went to visit her family.

Everything started out well.  My daughter and I had dinner together, then we chased each other around the condo holding rattles, and screaming,  “dat dat dat dat dat.”

Eventually, it was bath time, so I filled up the tub with water, bath toys, and cleanliness.  Typically, while taking a bath, Babs will brush her teeth, read the Elmo book, and splash around a bit.

This time, she seemed to be concentrating on something else.  Immediately, I thought she might poop in the tub.  I went into overdrive washing her hair quickly, knowing that the clock was ticking.

Just as I was about to take her out, I could tell something was stirring.  It was eerily quiet.  Babs had a relieved look on her face, which brought fear into my eyes.  I scooped her up immediately, but she had already left her mark.  Big logs of baby poop, surrounded by floating brown water.  This Saturday night had suddenly taken a terrible turn.

Now, Babs has pooped a few times in the bathtub over the past 1.5 years, but Lucy and I were always both here to deal with the consequences.  Tonight, it was all me.

I rushed Babs into her room, for detox.  Baby wipes, clean diaper, a onesie, and she back in business.  She wasn’t fazed at all that she had put the bathroom on red (brown) alert.

I ran back to the crime scene, and began a rescue mission for her baby toys and Elmo bath-time book.  I put them in the sink, and started to spray them down.

During a previous poop in the bathtub incident, I made the mistake of trying to pick chunks out of the tub with paper towels, and then flushing, but this method clogged up the toilet.  This time, I used toilet paper to start scooping out the remains.  There is something awful about holding poop in your bare hand with just a drenched piece of toilet paper as protection. When dealing with clogged toilets, you might want to see this page to find a reliable plumber.

Sensing Babs was up to some mischief in the other room, I aborted the cleanup mission for a second, and rushed into the living room, where she had our DVD player in her hand.  Not a DVD, not a remote, but the entire DVD player.  Great.  I secured it back on the shelf, put on Sesame Street, and ran back to the crime scene.

Upon return to the bathroom, the sink was slowly overflowing from the baby toy cleanup mission, so I used a few towels as an overflow team.

After removing a few more chunks from the tub, I went into break up mode, where I assisted in the draining of the poop remains.  This was followed by running the shower for fifteen minutes, while scrubbing the tub with paper towels (which I did not flush).

Along the ride, I had another fire to put out in the living room, where Babs was singing along with Big Bird, while holding a lamp.

About an hour later, the cleanup was mostly done, and it was time to put the baby to bed.

I then went to Facebook, and posted a status update about the events.  I received more “likes” than possibly ever before.

I’m glad my daughter pooping in the bathtub made all of your Saturday nights enjoyable.

Do any of you have similar stories?  Please share!