One of our goals here at Life of Dad is to be a safe place for dads to get help, advice, a laugh, support, ideas, and/or aspirations, and it’s times like this, when a single dad asked for tips on introducing the new woman in his life to his child, that we beam a little bit with pride for building the infrastructure to facilitate such an honest, open Q&A.

Here’s the exact question that started this thread,

“I am a single dad to my four-year-old son. I have him 4 nights a week and often once or twice on weekend nights. I am hesitant to bring a woman home because I am afraid what he will think about another woman and not his mother spending time with me. Obviously nothing inappropriate would be going on. I would like to know if other dads think I am making to big of a deal out of this?”

And here are some of the nearly 100 answers provided by the members of our Facebook community. We love you guys. Thanks for this and for everything this year!

Jonathan C. Williams: Until you plan on spending your life with her, keep them at arms length away from your kids. No reason to put kids through a break up.
…to which Josh Sherman replied: But how can you develop an honest relationship with an s.o. when you’re shielding her from them and vice versa?

Richard Barrett: The only thing I’d say is don’t bring EVERY woman home. Wait until you have a serious relationship before introducing her to your son. Also, do it as part of a social activity: dinner, the movies, etc.

Erik Carlson: Once you are semi-serious, I think it’s OK to introduce them. Right or wrong, I’ve always made sure limited affection was shown when I’ve introduced my kids to someone, and I always introduce just as my friend to start. So far this has worked and I don’t think they’ve been attached to anyone. Note, I’m very selective of who I introduce them to and in 4 years it’s been two people.

Richard Jackson: The only thing I will say is that kids are very innocent and will attach themselves emotionally to an adult. If you’re not sure if his relationship is a serious one I’d hang back a little.

John Lamb: Personally I’ve always kept women a certain distance from my son. As in I never mixed the two. Until 2 years ago when I started to date someone who turned out to be a bigger mother figure to him then his own mother who is not in his life. Mind you this is a 14 year old who you would think would care less about that. But they have a love for one another like if she was his biological mother. It’s a crap shoot man. I find myself lucky because the one time I allowed the interaction it’s worked out. But if it’s looking like a serious relationship then I’d ease your son and lady into it. I hope you’re as luck as I am in my situation.

Jeremy W Sparks: I’m a single parent that sees my two daughters 4 days a week, every week. Dating is super hard since their is pretty much no time to do so. I’d recommend dating on the days you don’t have him until you’re ready to introduce a female into his life.

Dave Heagney: I have had my daughter every other week for almost 6 years. She has never meet anyone I have dated. I really don’t want her to get attached to anyone I don’t think will be around very long.

David Conner: When I finally started dating my boys had to meet the woman and give me their approval. Of course I did talk with them first about meeting her.

Jerry Smith: Have little man meet her at a neutral site (park, playground) first.

Steve Webster: No, you’re being a responsible dad. You’re taking in consideration your child’s emotions and feelings and its commendable. Take it slow and things will work out.

Randy Johnson: Just don’t make it a parade of different women.

Keith Mortara: At some point, you have to have a life. If you do not care for yourself, you will not be your best at caring for him.

Have you experienced introducing a new woman to your kids after a separation or divorce? Share your story with us on Facebook.

*Flickr photo by Ian D. Keating, used under Creative Commons license.