Do people still make New Year’s resolutions? Is that still a thing?
Considering that I’ve been able to snag a treadmill at the gym with ease so far in 2015, my research says no. No one is resolving to pretend to recommit themselves to the idea of working out. Not this year.
Me? I don’t do resolutions, not exactly. I haven’t made a proper resolution, per se, since 2010 when I gave up soda for good and aside from a few room temperature sips of my wife’s craft root beers, I haven’t touched the carbonated syrupy stuff since resolving not to do so 5 years ago. This year, I have a goal. Don’t call it a resolution! I have a goal of running to the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, then to the Breslin Center in East Lansing, before finishing up at Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend, Indiana.
Oh, hell no, I’m not actually running to those places. Don’t be ridiculous. But! I’ve got this here Google map pinned to my wall and a running log Excel spreadsheet on my laptop, to chart my virtual progress as the mileage piles up on the treadmill and the blacktop. 750 miles in one calendar year. That is my not-a-resolution goal for 2015.
As this would be a super short post if I stopped here, I asked my fellow dad bloggers what they are trying to stop eating, start doing, fix about themselves/their lives over the next 360 odd days. Here’s a sampling of what these goofballs said:
David “Underdaddy” Blackwood vows to “cry less during heartwarming children’s films,” noting that Disney’s 2014 blockbuster Big Hero 6 “about tapped me out.” David might want to bring a box of tissues, just in case, to the theater with his Sno-Caps and Twizzlers when he takes his kiddos to see Inside/Out this year.
Dadscribe’s Carter Gaddis is resolving to “bring balance to the Force,” stating that he has an obligation to do so as “The Chosen One.” No response yet from The Special One, Jose Mourinho, as he continues work on the oligarch-funded blue Death Star he’s building in west London.
Creed Anthony is throwing shade from the Poop Deck on the mere idea of New Year’s resolutions by going all anti-resolution on us, listing 10 things he will do in 2015 that he won’t actually do in 2015 because, who in the hell keeps their New Year’s resolutions anyway?
Mr. Puzzling Post Mike Reynolds is committed to waking himself up at ungodly hours, so that he might “start writing down some of the remarkable ideas I think of at 2:32 a.m. instead of ‘not worrying because this idea is so good there’s no way I’d forget about it when I wake up.'” Some bloggers are simply more committed to their craft than others.
Trevor LaForce of Love.Make.Share promises to spend “more time in the workshop” in 2015 and adds that we should “expect more posts about trips to the hospital for cuts and burns.” I can’t help but see a Canadian partnership brewing between Reynolds and LaForce, with new bedtime stories being written about 2:30 a.m. projects in the workshop.
In a bold move designed to taunt the world’s tallest dad blogger, Chris “Ban the Playdate” Bernholdt, Russell “DayParentDad” Peterson is bringing back the playdate…the adult playdate! Peterson writes that “now that my kids are mostly on their own it’s time I played with my friends instead of the parents of their friends.”
“More time creating and less time being entertained” is how Tenor Dad Adam Hall plans to change this year. I have absolutely nothing funny to add here, because this is a brilliant goal…that I’m stealing for myself.
Fandads’ Victor Aragon listed more, like jobs and family and whatever, but:
“2. To try to do both Spartan Super and Spartan Sprint.
3. To complete a half marathon.”
See, that’s just crazy talk. Godspeed, my friend. Godspeed. Maybe Aragon and LaForce can carpool to the hospital in 2015. Victor also hopes to convert his expansive Neil Diamond record collection into digital files, so he can scream along with “Forever in Blue Jeans” during his Spartan runs.
Apparently there is something called a “kettlebell” and it, along with running, will help Ryan Darcy get down to 190 pounds…although he notes he’s “yet to embark on either.” Way to start strong with your resolutions, Ryan! 😉
Some want to eat better, others wish to find more meaning in their life. 8BitDad co-founder and Life of Dad’s Nerds, Geeks, Dads Podcast co-host Zach Rosenberg has set his sights higher for this new year. Zach is on record saying “I will do whatever I can in 2015 to bring us closer to the robot apocalypse. Because clearly, humans aren’t doing so well. It might be nice to give autonomous robotics a shot.”
My main man Phil Corless out in Idaho is resolving to stop drinking soda in 2015! He also wants to overcome his fear of failure and take more chances but enough about that silly stuff, Corless will no longer pour the poison that is (mass-produced, mass-marketed) soda down his throat! Good move sir, I’ve been 200% healthier since giving up that junk.
Gary Matthews‘ 2014 sucked. He is determined to make 2015 “ all about me and my daughter and having fun again.” Rock on, Gary!
Michael Moebes of Dadcation fame hopes 2015 brings “more travels that includes my children, starting with Mardi Gras in a few weeks.” Having recently walked those beer soaked streets with my kids, after sweating it out in Preservation Hall, I’m excited for your next journey, Michael. What a magical, mystical place to sink into with your family. Have fun!
Finally, RC Liley wants to gain weight this year. Sure, he might have legitimate reasons for this ludicrous goal but I’m just gonna leave it there for you to chew on as you hit the gym, the “kettlebells” (whatever those are), and try to cook well-balance meals for yourself and your family. Know that RC “I’d like to beef up” Liley is out there somewhere trying to GAIN WEIGHT. He’s already handsome and chiseled, like we needed yet another reason to dislike this guy.
Happy new year, everyone. May all your resolutions, goals, & aspirations survive well into late January.