As parents we all get to express how parenthood has changed us to our friends and family. If you are a lead singer in a pretty well-known band like O.A.R. you get to share your thoughts with millions of people. Marc Roberge and the rest of his bandmates have been together for twenty years now. They document that journey in their latest album called XX. One of their songs from that album called I Go Through focuses on family.
While all of the songs on their latest album are great the one that speaks to me the most is I Go Through. As a father it pulls on all my heartstrings. Once I downloaded it I listened to it on repeat in my kitchen after I put kids to bed one night. I thought about my kids, what my parents went through raising me and my sisters, and what the guys from O.A.R. must go through missing their family while on tour.
The two CD set includes a career-spanning collection of O.A.R.’s biggest hits and incredible live shows plus new studio material. Disc one features fan favorites such as Heaven, Peace, Shattered, Two Hands Up and more. Disc two spotlights select performances from their extensive live catalog.
In my past career working in radio I met the band once and thought really highly of them. That notion didn’t change when I was able to chat with Marc about their latest album, fatherhood and more.
Art Eddy: I am loving your new song I Go Through. As you know everyone takes in a song differently. While watching the video I see you and your bandmates sharing family moments. I see how being on the road takes a toll on you and how you miss your family. Was this song therapeutic for you to get out there and share with your fans and family?
Marc Roberge: Absolutely. The music, the writing, the performing, the touring, it is all therapeutic. When this song began it was part of a documentary, a docuseries called Evolution Of A Song. We were filming the process of writing. That day I was in Nashville on my way to a session. I am on the FaceTime with the kid and he just says, ‘Dad when are you going to be retired?’ I think what he was saying was when are you coming home? Is this going to perpetually go on forever?
I knew how to write about it. That is the only way I know how to ever since I was a kid is to basically write what I know and that is it. At this point in time I think yes it is therapeutic. It is also just an honest look of where we are not just as a band, but as people. With writing what we know we are not going to be the pretend young guys out there pretending that we don’t have kids. That would be ridiculous. It is part of our lives and we wanted to show it.
AE: Your new album XX celebrates you and your band’s twentieth anniversary. Describe the evolution of you and the rest of the guys in these twenty years.
MR: I think we began with the same attitude that we have now. So that hasn’t necessarily changed. We have always had these pillars of honesty as far as the way music has treated us or how we have treated music. It was always about having fun, being in the moment, and enjoying this. Not take it for granted and absolutely not mess it up. That has always been the attitude.
We have evolved musically and will continually. The reason for that is that the band began when we were fifteen to sixteen years old. We got better at our instruments. It was not something that we were born with. We work, work, work and our music reflects this growth, this change. There are dips. There are ups and downs depending on where you sit as a fan. There are moments that you forget. I am sure it runs the gamut. We are just giving you a timeline of what we are doing. I think that there are certain bands out there that we follow, artists we listen to that do the same thing.
That is our angle and I think that the evolution of this band is just a real time look at what it would be like to be in a band from teenagers to young adults and what would happen. That is that is what it is.
AE: What are you most proud of so far in your career?
MR: What I am most proud of is that everyone bought into the plan. The plan was just to be present, be good and have fun. Do the cliché rock stuff. We did all the crazy stuff that we are supposed to do. We did all the things that you are not supposed to do. We did them all. We tried everything. We just went there. We knew that our goals and our pillars were always to be good. I am most proud of that and to be with five or seven other people in a band and have them believe in what I believe.
The second thing that I am most proud of show wise would have to be playing at the (Madison Square) Garden. It was huge. I was there the other night for a (New York) Rangers game. I am looking around and it could have been yesterday that it happened. Red Rocks ten times. These things are all things to be proud of. We are very vocal about that. We are just as surprised as you are that we did it. (Both laugh.) That is how we look at this thing. For me I have a wife who is someone that I have known since I was fifteen. I am most proud that I am able to follow her lead and navigate. People always tell you that marriage is hard or that this is hard, but it is not. It can be fun and awesome if you are in it together. I am lucky for that. That is what I am most proud of.
AE: What is it like to perform live on stage? For those who will never get to experience that can you share your experience with us?
MR: When I first go onto any stage I rarely say anything or do anything, but just play songs back to back to back for about an hour. It is not because I am ignoring anybody or anything. I am just getting in it. My whole thing is if I am going to be there I am going to be there. If I am going to be home I am going to be home and that is it.
So when I am on stage I am 100 percent there. I am looking around a little bit. I will finally come out of my 
shell and look around. I will pick two or three people and I will constantly check back in with them. I am playing my show and I will look at the same couple or I will look and the same person. With all the lights, all the spotlights, and all the noise I will connect with two or three people. We will continually check in with each other. I think that is because I like to know that we are in this thing together.
I don’t go out there and hit them with the first song and then say hey how are you doing? Say hello. Say this. Say that. We got to earn it. We got to get into the zone. So once I am there I see people. At the Garden I saw my mother in law. Out of twenty thousand people I saw my mother in law. She is sitting in her chair, chair dancing. I have opened up for (Dave) Matthews and the only person that I could see in the arena was my mom dancing. It is just random and the brain goes where the brain goes. I will tell you what, from where we are we see a lot of funny things that you all do. (Both laugh.)
AE: What were some of the first few thoughts that popped into your mind when you found out that you were going to be a dad?
MR: I remember that I always wanted to be a dad. I always wanted to be a husband. I always wanted to be married. I loved that dynamic of the home. We were so in it together that every day was a new moment. Plus the first kid is also just the craziest, insane time of your life. The first year was all about happiness. It is too fun.
AE: What is the biggest difference between the time when you were growing up to now as your kids are growing up?
MR: I don’t know that it has changed yet. My kids are growing up in the city. They are growing up as city kids. Completely metropolitan. I grew up in suburbs of D.C. and what we had was a lot of adventure. We were on our bikes. We were on our skateboards. We are in the woods. We were at Dead Man’s Cliff. We were in the creek walking. We were on the island in the pond. Every day was an adventure. Our imagination was our iPad.
I don’t know if that has changed because I do see my kids and they do have all these amazing things going on. I don’t want it to thin out. When I see Stand By Me or I read any Stephen King book or Stranger Things is a great example of that type of lifestyle. It has nothing to do with cell phones and all that stuff. I do hope that stuff lives, but I have noticed a change.
AE: What are some of the core values you look to instill in your kids as they grow up?
MR: I was walking to school with a mom in town with all the kids. We just had this conversation. It is just one thing. My kids can’t be jerks. I mean that in such a broad way because a jerk could mean that kid is a liar or he hits somebody. You just want your kid to know and see by example that you can get through life by being nice, doing good and helping. You can still be funny. You can still be a goofball. You can still do wrong, but don’t be a jerk. If my kids grow up and they are nice and they treat animals and people well that is it. I don’t care about anything else.
AE: What advice do you have for new dads?
MR: I can only draw from my own experiences. When I was a new parent you get caught up in the toughness of that first year. It is tough to not be able to help your wife or your significant other due to the things that you can’t do. It is tough to have to manage that and also stay positive and get rest. It is all these things that we know, but it does get real tough and it becomes very real.
My advice looking back at myself as a new parent would be to keep your head up and keep the house positive. After those first few months it is going to get better. You are like wow am I the only one who is not getting sleep? Am I the only one that cannot get it together? What is going on? It is everybody. That is true. I don’t know how you feel, but it is crazy those first couple of months.
Life of Dad Quick Five
AE: What is your favorite family movie you guys like to watch together?
MR: Goonies.
AE: Do you guys have a favorite song that you all like to sing and dance to as a family?
MR: My daughter is a real big Shake It Off fan. She loves Shake It Off. I am not sure if you heard of that one by a girl named Taylor Swift. My boy, he is really hard to follow. He is really into sports. So when he sees her dancing he will dance with her. She is really into Pop music. My wife is really into Pop music. Right now I am a bystander. (Both laugh.) Right now we don’t share the all the same songs. I dare not play them my favorite songs because they don’t want to hear them.
AE: Describe the perfect family vacation.
MR: The perfect family vacation is in Mexico, a beach, zero responsibilities, and a little bit of booze, and a little bit of fun. A whole lot of French fries and movies every night and a hot tub nearby.
AE: What was the first album you purchased?
MR: That is an easy answer. It was Crowded House, the self-titled album. The second was Legend, Bob Marley and the Wailers. The third was Peter Gabriel and Genesis and so on and so forth.
AE: Who would you love to have perform a song with you and the rest of the guys of O.A.R.?
MR: I would do a lot to spend the day with Ed Vedder. Working, not just a meet and greet. I would love to learn from him. I would love to learn from Steve Lukather. I love Steve. He is a great guitar player from Toto and I would love to learn from him. I really enjoy Talib Kweli. He is one of the greatest lyricists ever. I am going to convince him to do something. I have a ton of plans. Bryan Adams. I am a huge Bryan Adams fan. I don’t know if he wants to hang out with me, but I am going to try. (Both laugh.) There are a lot of folks out there. I respect anybody who has it together and writes their own stuff and gets out there to perform it and not be scared.
Go to ofarevolution.com for tour dates and the latest on the band and follow Marc on Twitter at @marcroberge