Month seven of your pregnancy is here! SEVEN!!! 200 years ago your baby would already be married, have overcome polio and would be working the farm. Thank heavens for progress. What a time to be alive!
Well, if you haven’t packed an overnight bag yet, now’s the time to get one together. Not to be alarmist since it’s still pretty early, but let’s be on the safe side. Get some essentials for her together, have a plan for your pets or plants or enlist the services of your cousin Kevin who is currently crashing on your couch.
Someone needs to feed all of them while you’re away and this will give Kevin and opportunity to give his bed sores some much needed air and Vitamin D as he moves towards the sun coming through the window. If you have other kids, make sure they understand what will eventually happen. Remember that scene in Uncle Buck when the kids wake up to John Candy making breakfast? You don’t want that kind of surprise for your little munchkins. NOTE: If you don’t remember that scene, then do some soul searching because your life is not where it should be right now.
During this month, you’re jumping into the third trimester. Most of us aren’t math majors, but if movies have taught us anything, it’s Tri means 3.
The Godfather Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Star Wars Trilogy. This is the Return of the Jedi of pregnancy. A Return Of The King with (hopefully) way less Nazgul and loads more diapers.
Speaking of diapers, ask some friends about which ones they use (for their babies) and figure out which ones are going to be the go-to for your family. After all, you’re about to travel literally everywhere you go with them for the next three years. Here’s a pro-tip for you. Buy a box and hide a handful everywhere. Glove box, backpacks, the crisper drawer in your refrigerator, old backpacks you might use….. EVERYWHERE. Because we 100% guarantee a day will come when you’re suddenly in the middle of a Level 12 Blowout and feverishly looking around for the nearest stash. Think of the hero you’ll become when you suddenly remember “Wait, I have a diaper over here stuffed inside my bowling shoes!”.
So, this is pretty cool. Your baby is way less than just a blob of stuff, and waaaaaayyyy more baby now. It can taste stuff at this point, see and hear! Now’s the time to start getting it used to your voice and get it loving your taste in music. That is, unless you’re still clinging to those terrible hardcore bands you swore were awesome in your early teens. Leave them in Hot Topic where they belong.
Something not so fun that your lady could possibly experience, stretch marks. You know, those things you ignore on your gut that started showing up about 3 years out of school? Way bigger deal for her. If you think this is a good thing to point out and joke about, then the Uncle Buck soul searching is the least of your concerns at this point. Seriously, don’t.