How To Tell Kids That Mom and Dad Are Getting A Divorce

One of the terrific parts of growing the Life of Dad community has been providing a forum of men to ask these kinds of questions. Divorce and children are a complicated mix and the vulnerability needed to ask for help is not lost on us. That is why it would be helpful to divorce lawyer to help you sort it out. When a user asked for helping on how to tell kids that a marriage is ending, we put the question to the Facebook page and here’s some of the advice we got back from many people, including a divorce lawyer, on how to tell kids that their dad and mom are getting a divorce.

This is a hard process not only for the children but as well for the parents, especially without a divorce lawyer. That’s why it is always recommended to do it as smooth as possible with the guidance and assistance of your divorce lawyer. We have then also heard wonderful things about this divorce attorney in Will County so if you are near there they are an excellent choice.

Steve Nyveld: My parents divorced when I was about 9. I wish they hadn’t presented it to me as such a negative experience; my parents cried and us kids cried because we thought it was the end of the world. Life went on, and I got extra presents. Sure it is very hard on the parents, but it doesn’t need to be as hard for the kid(s). 

Tom Sanderson: You guys turned it into a loveless marriage, you can certainly turn it back. A marriage becoming “loveless” is not something that “just happens” that you have to deal with like a hail storm or an awful disease diagnosis… it’s something you create, and it’s made by a lack of effort commensurate with the effort you put into it in the first place. My wife and I have recovered from some awful stuff… you have to WANT to, don’t take the easy way out, read more on the topic here.

Chris Gullifer: Before telling them first plan how and when you are going to seperate custody housing finances parenting plan then you will be able to provide stability and security explaining in concrete terms, in age appropriate way, what changes will be coming in the future and what hey will look like. Coparenting is a business plan it like one.

Mark Bayley: The best way is not to.
Go see a marriage counselor and fulfill your vow of loving her through thick and thin better or worse. Call Cynthia Lissau, M.S., LPC, LMFT for marriage counseling Roanoke.

Grant Nevin: I actually work as a family lawyer, and I recently read an article linking to a study stating that 100% of divorced kids feel like they are to blame for their parents broken marriage …regardless of the fact that in most instances it is just an adult to adult breakdown. As part of our job as their attorneys, we try to make the experience as painless as possible for everyone involved. Unfortunately we can only do so much. Please assure your kids continuously that the divorce was not their fault. I come from a divorced home and I am in a second marriage with a child from the first. I know this first hand and I have read up on it. Please you and your estranged wife add that to your agenda to give your children assurance that they are not to blame. Sorry for the broken marriage and well done for considering your kids well through it all.

Andy Brant: Don’t lie just tell them because of what they might think…they know more than you think…just explain that you have tried but is not working

Kevin McDermott: My parents went through a divorce. I knew it was coming. Unless the kids are really young or (no offense) stupid, they should already know what’s to come.
Don’t shelter them from the truth either, that’s bad and leads them to believe stuff that is not true. Tell them strait up what’s going down.

Winter Cielencki: Not knowing their ages makes this difficult. When ever my parents talked about getting a divorce they would sit me down and explain it calmly the first few times (my parents have thought about it at least 3-4 times) but I was​ in middle school the first time. I do think if you are set on the divorce you need to make it clear to your kids don’t give them false hope that you and their mom will work it out. Take time to answer their questions because I’m sure they will have them and try to be as open as possible; get the help of a family law specialist if needed. To get more tips about how to handle a divorce, read here.

Ramasubramanian NV: Your kids see you separate, and you expect them to believe you when you tell them that you will love them always? When actions and words are contradicting, people trust the actions more than the words.

Do you have experience with divorce? Please lend your voice to the conversation on Facebook.

flickr photo by Kumon, used under Creative Commons license.