Your baby cries. And cries. And cries. You’ve tried everything to calm him down.
Your body is becoming soft. You’re eating all of the free meals your friends are sending, and workouts are impossible to fit in.
How can you get your baby to fall asleep while getting your body into HGH-like ninja shape?
Try THE BABY 90X WORKOUT! You’re baby will be soothed, and you’ll be conditioned like LL Cool J, or you get your money back, guaranteed! (This workout is free.)
—————————————-THE BABY 90X BEGINNER’S WORKOUT—————————————-
Start with a set of 15-20 shoulder presses using your namesake as the dumbbell.
We’re not sure if babies actually like this, or are just confused by the movement, but it works! If your baby is still whimpering when you finish your first set, its time to move on to…
A set of curls! That’s right, 20-25 bicep curls using your 9 pounder as the bar.
By the end of this set, you’re kiddo mostly likely will be asleep, and you’ll be that much closer to having steroid-looking arms. What if your baby is still a tad bit upset or uncomfortable?
Time for some squats! Start out with your basic two leg squats, but then start mixing in some swaying, and begin alternating between legs.
If your kid is still crying after these exercises, you better go find his milk lady, or inspect for a dirty diaper. While he’s feeding…you go enjoy some protein pancakes while sipping on muscle relaxers. The workout will continue very shortly.