Dad Advice: Should Kids Attend Funerals

Ideally, kids wouldn’t have to face death, especially not the death of friends and family but we don’t live in an ideal world. If the person that passed is close enough to you, you might have to handle part of the cremation, funeral services, or even the traditional Asian funerals, and that’s when you have a decision to make when it comes to your kids. The Life of Dad community on Facebook reacted recently to a fellow dad who needed advice on whether to take his kids to a funeral. Here’s some of the great guidance you guys gave.

Jonathan Neal: Life doesn’t get any easier. There will be more loved ones to come. Best they experience it with you so they can see how you handle it, along with helping them handle the grief. Part of the world we live in.

Cole D. Glenn: Life happens. Quit sugar coating it for your children. They need to be there for themselves and for your wife/their mom. Speak to your children. Have an open door of communication. But make them attend. Support your wife she’s your partner.

Gavin Petrie: You can’t wrap them up in cotton wool, and the teenager won’t get the same chance to support her mum again. I’d say make her go, but find some way of minimizing the stress.

Derek Adolfo: I had to attend my father’s cremation and funeral when I was 8. Loved ones passing is a part of life. You won’t be doing them any favors by sheltering them from the real world.

Chris Lassen: The world isn’t all rainbows and glitter. The 13 year old should be there. I had a grandfather die when I was 9. I was devastated, but I was there. It’s called “respect”, which I know is not really a thing these days, but some of us still have it. The girl needs to get it together and go. It’s a part of growing up.

Greg Crewell: Help her understand it is a celebration of his life and while sad, it is a way to be with friends who knew him. There will probably be a lot of sadness but also some laughing too… it’s a process she needs to learn.

Charles Peterson: Let her decide whether to go our not. Don’t force death on a child. She’ll have plenty of time to learn about the circle of life. Should be no hurry for the adults in her life to force the issue. To me, its a form of child abuse to force a child to go see a dead body. If you want to “pay your respects” then have a memorial ceremony at home. Let her decide what to do and how to remember her loved one.

Josh Cannon: Best to explain it all to her including your life experiences about it. Also open it up to her and listen to her fears and at the end let her decide. She wont forget you allowing her to make a decision and how you treated her and her decision with respect.

Coming from a man who as a child wasnt allowed to have a voice.

Carlos Ramon: Just my 2 cents…..

I’d encourage my daughter to participate to the level she is comfortable. Being with the family and loved ones during a sad time has a lot of power. Seeing how others deal with grief is also medicine. Maybe she comes along but is allowed to hang back to her comfort level.

No one right answer. Good luck.

What do you think about taking kids to a funeral? Is there a right age? Share your thoughts with us on Facebook.

*Flickr by Ann Larie Valentine, used under Creative Commons license.