Freshman Jitters or A Bad Fit? A Dad Needs Advice On Reacting To This Daughter’s Hatred of College and so many dads answer the call for help. Here’s just a sample of the great ideas, tips and tricks for helping a college kid adjust to her new life.
Posted by Life of Dad on Thursday, September 21, 2017
“I think entirely too much pressure is put on kids to go to college”
Brittany Ratz: I dropped out in the first week of April my second semester.. many reasons. Ended up joining the army. Meeting my love, had two kids.. now at 27 I’m back in college and LOVING it. I think entirely too much pressure is put on kids to go to college. Some just need to figure things out and go back when they’re ready so they aren’t in debt for no reason.
“The question should be why does she hate school?”
Matthew Zigrest: Does she hate the actual work, does she hate the other people, or does she hate being by herself for the first time? The question should be why does she hate school.
“Time for her to join the world of grown up decisions”
Stewart Willis: This isn’t a child…time for her to join the world of grown up decisions and repercussions. I would suggest she be held accountable for completing the semester at the very least, if it’s on your dime that is…otherwise make your opinions felt and then leave her to learn whatever lesson presents itself.
“Bring her home for a weekend, give her a good hug and her favorite meal”
Justin Casner: You might be right about needing time to adjust, but other factors should be taken into account. Why did she go, was it something she wanted to do or was she pushed (no offense meant, but some parents do that)? Is getting overwhelmed a common thing for her? Just the simple question of “why?” needs answered. Homesickness, social issues (are any friends there, was she popular and now a loner or vice versa, etc), first time being on her own… I just think a talk is in order before either calling it off or telling her to suck it up. Bring her home for a weekend, give her a good hug and her favorite meal, and get the specifics out of her.
“Encourage a social club”
Matthew Hausenfluke: Send her to Texas A&M. Problem solved. No, really. Open line of communication. College is hard coming from high school but she will adjust. Reason with her to give it a semester and see what happens. Encourage a social club.
“Working through ‘awkwardness’ teaches good coping skills”
Earl Gable: I agree Dad…..have her work through this. Simply “giving up” when we are uncomfortable is easily “learned” and can develop a pattern of doing so in the future. Working through “awkwardness” teaches good coping skills. If she was threatened in some manner, that is different.
“Do the first few years at a community college and live at home”
Samantha Jones: Unless she has a scholarship let her drop before it costs a bunch of money. Do the first few years at a community college and live at home — save a fortune of college. By then she will be older and have college experience and do better at a big school far away from home.
“You should trust her on this”.
Edwin Twentier: College isn’t for everyone, especially straight out of high school. If she can and wants to withdraw, you should probably let her, after figuring out her reasons. If you trust her enough to make her own decisions, you should trust her on this. The first thing I’d try to do is figure out those reasons, sit down and talk with her about why they are, not over the phone, but if you can get there without a huge expense, try that, or at the very least sit down with her over Skype or some other video chat program so you can see her reactions to your words, see what it is that’s making her hate it, but listen to her, don’t give her excuses, let her tell you, they’ll feel a lot less like excuses to her if she’s not defending her choice from a list of things that you already know. Hopefully you can get it resolved to where both of you are happy, otherwise you’ve got to take her feelings into account. Whatever it may be, hope it works out for her, and for both of you as well.
Flickr photo by Collegedegree360.