Is The Money Worth It? A Dad’s Decision Between A Bigger Paycheck or a Better Family Life

Change of hours, change of life, is the money that will come with a shift of a dad’s work day schedule worth the potential damage it may cause to his family dynamic at home? That is really difficult question to answer, but that didn’t stop the Life of Dad Facebook community from trying to give him advice!

We broke up the responses into two camps, the DON’T DO IT! and the “GO FOR IT!”

DON’T DO IT

Adz Gee: Your kids are only kids once bro, remember that in 10 years time when they’ve grown up, you’ll look back and realize that you traded your time for something that you can’t even put a value on, family comes first.

Nathan Cates: Don’t do it unless you desperately need the money. I work 5pm to 4 am. I wish I had day shift to spend with my family. Invest in what you have at home. It’s priceless.

Brenden Pray: If you don’t like you’re wife and kids those are perfect hours. Use to work 2-10:30pm. Big reason for my divorce. Was never around, the little times I was we just fought.

Joey Colon: You can make more money, but can’t make more time. Especially when recitals and sports and life really starts. Unless you are left with no choice (then you do what you gotta), but if you do have a choice then choose being home for now – it’s priceless and so fleeting.

Jason Ahl: I used to work long hours into the evening and I wouldn’t get home until after our kids bed time. Most nights my wife would be frazzled from dealing with bedtime and resentful that I wasn’t there to help. It eventually lead me to another job with less pay but better hours to be a father and husband. We’ve adjusted our life style to our income and our house is a lot happier now. Unless you are in dire financial crisis, keep the job you have now. Nothing but a strain on a relationship than an unhappy spouse.

Samantha Neighbors: Coming from a wife and mother to three children and a husband that has worked 4:30 p.m. to 4:30 a.m. the past 4 years, if it’s at all possible I would spend as much time with my kids as I could. My husband and I only get Saturdays and Sundays. Our marriage has gone through a lot of tough times just because of his schedule with work and not being able to change up his routine with waking up on the weekends.
He talks about all the time how he would rather make less money and work a day shift so he could be home with his family then make that little bit extra and miss his kids growing up. If you can still live without the extra 30% I wouldn’t take it.

Paul Saunders: I have made this switch in my life too, I strongly recommend not doing it. From a personal experience, it made me really ill. I was sleeping form the moment I got in till an hour before my shift and then eating a full cooked meal, before heading to work. The only time I saw my newborn was on my arrival back at home, he had his bottle and was asleep again, it strained my relationship and caused many problems within it.

The extra money isn’t worth the lack of time with your family, or the potential side effect of being ill from it. I’m sure you could pick up an extra shift instead and earn a little extra that way.

I hope whatever you decide, you make it work for you.

All the best

DO IT:

Nathan Purdy: As much as it sucks, sometimes it’s best to sacrifice that family time temporarily to better the family in the long run. I took a job I worked for two years where I was gone out of town/state mon-fri and sometimes weekends. Left my wife alone to take care of our two kids, 3 and 1, while she worked full time and went to school full time. After those two years we had worked enough to pay off enough stuff for me to find a new job. Now I’m home every night and make more money than working out of town. Visit websites like Funnelstak Reviewed which lists side hustles to start.

Heather McCormack: My husband works 12’s plus mandatory overtime. You have to do what you have to do to pay the bills. We have four little ones 7, 3, 2, 9 months and I get them into bed each night. IT SUCKS! But you find a rhythm and we appreciate my husband more when he is home.

Julissa Pineda: If you need the money, do it. Your wife will be in charge 5 days a week, and it will be tough. But it’s not like you’re working until midnight, so you can still have breakfast together with the family, if your kids go to school, you can drop them off together, you can spend quality alone time with your wife in the mornings, after all, weekdays are hectic and kids have to keep a schedule anyway. I assume you’ll be there in the weekends to do all kinds of stuff together.

Toby Cowling: What time are your kids up in the morning? Then off to school? Surely you could take the morning shift to even things up a little. Maybe try adjust it so they’re up early and go to bed earlier. Then make sure weekends you find the right balance of family and wife time. Pay for a babysitter on a regular basis to allow for catchup on the weekend. Even sort out a cleaner so arguments on chores don’t pop up.

Sarah Anne: You could use the extra $ to go places with your family or wife alone. I am a single mom of 5. I do it everyday. It’s easier when you don’t have a choice. Takes a while but she can get it done.

What do you think? What would you do — take the extra money or keep your family life stable? Give us your hot take on Facebook.

flickr photo by Hamza Butt.