The Friendship question: Should your child be your friend?
Should your kid be your friend?
Posted by Life of Dad on Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Let’s start with the yes answers because, well, there’s faaaaaaar fewer of them. Seems the dads of our Facebook community think there’s a real danger in being friends with your child. What do you think? Can you be friend AND dad?
Nick Hawley: Like Barry Sanders’ father said to Barry: “I’m not your friend. I’m your father.” I think they are very close in relation. Father first, and if you do it right, your relationship will be like that of a friendship but with known boundaries. My children tell me they love me, and want to cuddle and tell me everything. They are young yet, but I am building that foundation. [Fatherhood is a] relentless work in progress…every day.
Dan Darling: Of course, as long as they know when dad is no longer being friendly and is meaning serious business. I think you can do hobbies, activities, hang out, etc with your kids like you would a normal friend, but they have to understand you’re also gonna be their dad and correct and parent them when it is needed. You can’t be their buddy and also let them get away with murder.
Garrett Metzger: Father son relationship is much greater than any friendship and should be. So the answer is no… All other examples of friendship should be in the parent portion if you care, love discipline and teach your child on how to be as a person.
Jeff Yachcik: It will be until about 10 and then they expand their social circle. They will find their place in the world based on their peer relationships and sorting out their social skills. But those actions are impacted by your parenting before they reach that point.
Will Teasdale: Damn straight my son is my best friend and always will be. He is 5 and we do absolutely everything together. Would.not change the for the world.
Skip Jenkins: Absolutely not.
a friend wouldn’t hold and feed you 3-5x a night and still smile at your coos throughout the next day.
a friend wouldn’t sing you songs until you fell asleep
a friend wouldn’t get up with you 5x a night while you cried from bad dreams.
a friend wouldn’t take your temperature
and safely give u meds.
a friend wouldn’t take joy in your accomplishments that took weeks to help you achieve.
a friend wouldn’t hold your hand while you cried when you broke your arm.
a friend wouldn’t loan you the car bearing the financial responsibility should you get in an accident.
Finding a good friend is rare in this world. However, a friend wouldn’t do these things for years on end, that title is earned by a parent, not a friend. I am your Dad and have earned that title.
warren Blackmon: I tell my kids. I am not your friend. I am your father and that goes deeper than friendship. I will sacrifice myself before I let them go without. I will protect them with my life. But I will also be quick to tell them when they are wrong and if discipline needs to be delivered then it will be done with a firm hand not out of hate but out of protection.
James Sizemore: No. You are their parent not their friend. Doesn’t mean you can’t bond or be close, but you need to be an authority figure.
Lawrence Willis: Absolutely…when they move out and are self sufficient, married with kids! Even then, it’s a gamble…as they still might need a loving parent (BTW, they chose their friends)!
Jeff Brewer: No. Being a friend allows your child to take serious advantage of you. Your job, above all else, is to be a parent to your child and teach them the differences and ramifications of rights and wrongs. If you play the role of a friend, when it comes time to be a parent, your child will resent you and most likely will not listen. Lived through it. Not fun.