It is very important to give unconditional love and affection to your child. But it is much more important to disciple a child properly to teach him the correct values. No matter how hard it is, you have to learn how to educate your child. A correctly disciplined child grows up with self control and good manners and knows to distinguish right from wrong.
Utilize these methods to maintain a healthy relationship with your child and discipline them in the process:
- Condition Your Child with Results Based on Their Behavior
It is also known as logical consequences. Reward or punish your child according to his/her behavior. Try not to inflict pain because such behavior is seldom constructive. Here’s what you need to do:
- Set detailed rules and be consistent with them. Educate your child about the rules, why they’re necessary and what will be the consequences in case they are not obeyed.
- Reward your child when they show good behavior. Positive reinforcement is much more effective in developing positive characteristics. Negative reinforcement can direct your child into lying and hiding things from you.
- When a child misbehaves, withhold his privileges. It doesn’t mean that you take away basic necessities like food but take away cherished items like some toy.
- Teach Your Child the Principle of Natural Consequence
Many parents respond impulsively to a child’s tantrums. They shouldn’t. A child must learn to take onus of his/her behavior. Sometimes parents also get off the track with addictions like gambling and alcohol where they lose patience and give into child’s demands. Research points the number at 6.8 million within EU for the former. Such habits are often distressing for parents and child alike. But it is important to keep cool and let the natural process of grooming take place.
Gradually a child learns that throwing food on floor means that they can no longer eat it and will go hungry. Similarly tossing toys would mean that they won’t be able to play with it any longer. Do not let their actions make you angry, allow it to become their problem and let them deal with it. A child must be 5 years old to learn this concept.
- Wait for the Child to Calm Down and Discuss Causality of Events
Children are stubborn. It is no use to reason with an agitated child who has just lost his favorite toy. Give them time and also calm yourself down before dealing with the issue. Show empathy with phrases like ‘I know how you feel’. Discuss what happened with reasons for which the child had to suffer. Give time to your child to explain his/her point of view and tell them the correct alternative behavior.
Guide your child to a better behavior pattern by giving them suitable choices. For instance, if a child refuses to wear a jacket, say ‘okay, but you have to carry it’. This makes a child feel responsible for their actions.
- Don’t Yell Instead Scold Strategically
Punitive and negative reinforcements are known to be very ineffective in disciplining a child. It makes a child reluctant to open up and drives them to lie and hide things. Moreover, they model behavioral traits by looking at you. If you scream at them now, they are more likely to respond in the same way in near or distant future. Use negative enforcement which actually benefits your child.
Time-outs are effective when they are pulled off correctly. Experts recommend that sending children to their room might not be the best method because it contains toys and other types of distractions. Send the child to a pre-designated corner where you can easily monitor their actions.
- Avoid Arguments with Responses that are Close Ended
When a child is agitated and starts blaming you for pain and suffering try to end the argument as soon as possible. Give replies that a child cannot respond to. Disagreements like ‘it’s not fair’ are such subject matters which are in a no-win zone.
Offer sympathy by saying ‘that’s sad’ or ‘I know’ but be authoritative and show that your decision is final. Remind your child about the strict rules with ‘What did I tell you’. In such cases, the lesser you say, the clearer your point becomes.
Most experts say that a child must not be beaten up for teaching values. It is ineffective and rather teaches them to be aggressive. Raising a disciplined child is a long, tiring and difficult process. However, tips and tricks run amok on the digital world. Utilize them and raise a healthy child which develops a strong relation with you.