As I sat down to consider how I wanted to relate my Mother’s Day musings, many things came to mind. I could simply relate a few stories of how my Mom was always there for me, I could write about how much she sacrificed to provide a good life for my Brother and myself, I could spin tales of loss and tales of love. How does one adequately express how they feel about the woman who has been the single most important person in their life? Through the various stages of my life my Mom has provided me with many things, she has also played many different roles in my life. To bring some of you up to speed I will provide some basic details. I imagine those who have known me for a while are familiar with the back story.
For the majority of her life my Mom raised my Brother and I by herself. Now, that in and of itself is not too uncommon. There are plenty of families that have been raised by single parents. When we add that she did this in the Bronx, and with limited funds, her accomplishments stand out a little more. I can honestly say that while our lives may have been in a constant state of upheaval, not a single day went by that I ever doubted that her love would pull us through. I can only imagine the strength it took to raise two boys by herself. When I was younger there were plenty of things that would be in doubt on a daily basis, like where we would rest our heads, what was never in doubt was that we would survive together as a family. My Mom had to make the transition from Mom to friend and back again quite often. I would imagine our circumstances forced us to rely on each other and to believe in each other more than the average Mother & Son. We had our differences; as most do, but I always knew we had to settle them quickly just to survive whatever may be heading at us down the road. Our relationship was far from perfect, they wouldn’t model a sit-com after it, but it was perfect for us. Through her I learned to appreciate what I did have, and to not worry about what we didn’t have. I learned that I should never use my background as a crutch, but to use it as motivation. I learned what it takes to be a man, but just as importantly, what does not make a man. I learned that it doesn’t matter possessions you own, how much money you have, or if you own a large home. What matters is that you love and respect yourself and those in your life.
Knowing my Mom, I’m sure if asked she would say she didn’t do anything extraordinary, which is how she is. How many teenagers would honestly admit that their Mom was their best friend? I never had to think twice about not approaching her about a subject. We could discuss anything in the open, girls, school, peer pressure, etc. I never felt weird or ashamed to speak about with her about anything. I can remember on several occasions friends saying ”You told your Mom about that?!” My Mom allowed me the space and had the patience to allow me to find out who I was, on my terms. She was never strict, she didn’t have to be, and the fear of disappointing her worried me more than getting her angry. I am confident that my own children will benefit from this. My Mom was knowledgeable about most subjects that the average Mom would not have the time of day for, such as sports, heavy metal music, and drinking exploits. Now that I am married to a wonderful woman, and have two beautiful children, and most importantly am happy and content, I hope my Mom can see how integral her role was in helping me reach this happiness. I strive to be a loving Husband & Father, to be a strong presence in my community and to be a great friend to those I consider friends. Basically, I wish to do her proud, to use the tools & lessons she provided me to the best of my ability. Mom, I know I don’t have to tell you that you are loved, but I will, I love you. You are my rock, my constant, and I hope that you know how grateful I am that I get to call you Mom. Thank you for being perfect, for me.