With the fall soccer season in full swing, the posts and articles complaining about participation trophies and lack of keeping score are rolling in. “Back in my day participation trophies weren’t given out” or “who cares if you win 30 – 0. We just played better.” “Not keeping score and giving trophies to everyone makes the kids weak.”
Both of these arguments are flawed. I just want to nip the participation trophy complaints in the bud.* “Back in my day…”, bullshit. I am 36 years old and I received participation trophies in every sport I played (soccer, baseball, basketball and skiing) from the age of 5 through 13. The fact that I received the trophy hasn’t made me any less competitive. In addition to participation trophies we received game balls in baseball. Everyone got one during the season and I am sure there were seasons where my dad struggled to find a game in which I deserved a game ball. “Way to strike out four times (aka “the golden sombrero”), here’s the game ball.”
Did this make me weaker or less competitive? No. I don’t know what it made me. After most games all I cared about was picking up a Slurpee and getting back to my dirt pile at home where my Joe’s were stranded. That’s all Toothless cares about too. The trophies get put up and we move on.
On to scoring and blowing other teams out. I have been coaching my oldest son Toothless’s soccer team since he was 4. I have coached one season for Tiny. That’s 4 years and somewhere around 7 seasons of coaching. The league that we’re in tells us that there are no winners and losers and that coaches should only keep score to make sure the game is balanced. I am fine with that philosophy.
Between the ages of 5 and 6 it’s difficult to control the kids and stop them from scoring. In fact, I used to talk to the other coach to discuss scoring and what happens in the event there’s a blowout. Try to prevent the blowout from the get go but they happen.
Within 2 minutes of starting the game I could tell how the game was going to proceed and would coach accordingly. I would come up with creative ways to slow my fast players down since at that age, speed is the only physical attribute that leads to goals. Actual soccer skills matter little. Frankly, you can’t control the kids from scoring at this age and to do so is counter-intuitive to them. But there are methods to slow the kids down (one step, one touch**, dribble to the corner flag and then pass, etc.).
As an aside, we have a 5 goal rule – which means you shouldn’t beat anyone by more than 5 goals. This is important, since the kids become disinterested and frustrated when the score becomes lopsided. Especially when the same kid scores every goal. Those games are no fun – for either team. The other coach thought this meant 5 goals per kid. When’s the last time you saw a soccer score of 30-0? She was an idiot; the kids are 5 years old!
As the kids get older, blowouts should dwindle since soccer isn’t meant to be a high scoring game. Passing, dribbling and patiently waiting for the right shot should override the kick and run mindset.
I have always kept score and the kids have always kept track of wins and losses – but that was to make sure I was doing a good job coaching. This year, all of the kids on Toothless’s team have turned a corner – they want to win, they all keep score. I think its great and encourage this desire, yet I still want them to work on their skills. It’s not enough to kick and run on my team, you have to pass and work the ball around. As a result of that philosophy, we rarely blow any one out on the scoreboard. In fact, my philosophy results in less than 5 goals a game no matter what. Slowing the game down and playing it properly results in less goals. Go figure?
Even though we don’t beat anyone by 10 goals, the kids are still elated after the game. They celebrate each goal and relish each win. A juice box and a snack is not enough for them anymore- they need to win. But at the end of each game, they ask me the score and I just say “does it matter? The real question is did you have fun?” For the most part they respond “YEAH!” At the end of the day that’s what matters.
Participation trophies and the lack of winning and losing aren’t the problem with youth sports. The bigger problem is competitive leagues and traveling teams. Our league fields competitive traveling teams at the age of 8. My son barely knows how to tie his shoes and I am going to make a life decision for him to be a full time soccer player? Um, no.
The players have to tryout and the parents have to commit to a year of traveling and paying ungodly sums of money. These leagues restrict each kid’s ability to develop skills in other sports and activities since the teams practice 3 to 4 times a week and have tournaments each weekend. We want Toothless to learn to play the guitar. If he plays competitive soccer or baseball, there’s no time. Parents complaining about playing time, bitching and moaning about coaches and other parents, and fighting with each other.
Is that fun? My family took a wonderful family trip, spur of the moment, the Idaho panhandle on Labor Day. My wife and I had never been and just decided to go. No missing practices or games. We didn’t have to worry about any tournaments. Other parents spent their Labor Day complaining about lack of playing time or questioning why Liam is starting over their precious Xander (when’s the last time a kid was called Mike or Steve?). I got to enjoy a brewfest with over 60 beers while watching my kids – parent of the year after 6 beers.
Let me look into my crystal ball: my son is not going to be a professional athlete and neither is your’s. Why not let them have fun and experience life outside of the four corners.
Parents, you too should have fun. Enjoy watching Xander play.
*I hate the trophies in and of themselves though. They take up so much damn space.
**If you’re blowing someone out, the one step, one touch method is perfect. Work on this during practice and then implement it in the game: for every step a player takes, the player has to touch the ball. It teaches dribbling while slowing the player down.