On Tuesday, 12/27/16, at exactly 4:44 pm, my son Zacharias Kazuki (風月) Rivera (ZKR) was born. My wife began the process of labor the night before. Around 11 pm she told me that she thought her water had broke. You wouldn’t believe this, but I really didn’t think she began labor. My first reaction was to say, “are you sure?” because a few days prior our doc told us that he was expecting Zack to be two weeks late. We think the process got started early, because she had a terrible cough and cold. Either way, the first thing we did was call the hospital to get their recommendation. The nurse on the line asked us multiple questions and eventually felt confident that labor had begun, and that’s how it all started.
I have to tell you, labor from my perspective, was a really weird experience. Initially you go through an intake protocol with a nurse, and eventually get admitted to the “delivery room”. Once you’re in your room the waiting begins. Now, I had gone to a couple of classes offered by our hospital to help prepare for labor, but let me be the first to tell you that labor is nothing like the movies you watch to prepare for this moment. In those movies Dad’s are dressed in a shirt and tie and sit next their wife head-to-head preparing for their child to arrive. Well, when your wife’s water breaks in the middle of the night plans tend to deviate. First off, you will get no sleep. I got about thirty minutes prior to the “water break” surprise. After that, you are literally sitting, waiting, and watching while your wife is in a state of constant pain. We chose to take an epidural early on, smart choice from my perspective, because of the pain reduction. After 15+ hours of waiting through labor, it was finally “Go Time”. Her contractions were short moments apart when the doctor and his team entered the room. In my mind… the moment the doctor and his staff enter the room… is the time for you to stand next to your wife and hold her hand and tell things like “it’s going to be okay”, “can I get you water”, “breathe” and finally “PUSH!”. The moment the nurse told me she could see the head I made the choice to take a peek over the curtain. Well, that is a moment that will will be forever burned into my memory. It was graphic, it was raw, but it was strangely beautiful. To put you into my mind at the moment, I remember being horrified and excited. As I noticed Zack’s head, I said something along the lines of “he’s right there Love, you just gotta push”. After about 30 minutes of active pushing my little man came out into the world.
I’ll be honest, when ZKR came out he wasn’t the cutest baby in he bunch. I remember observing ZKR from head-to-toe. He was furry (lanugo covered his body), he had this scrunched up face, and his body and face were pale. He actually kind of reminded me of the baby squid-like alien from Men In Black I. Through experiencing the birth of my son, I had a weird moment of shock. I remember needing to take a seat and a breathe, after he was out and enjoying his skin-to-skin time with my wife. I was teary eyed. The moment was shockingly beautiful. I was in this shocked state for a couple of hours. With all that being said, I knew he was mine, and in that moment I was promoted to the life ranking of Dad and Guardian. To preserve moments like these, Amy Yang Photography is a newborn photographer Charlottesville families trust to capture the beauty of those first days.
Things got interesting a day after his birth. We were preparing to go home, and I had actually packed and walked our bags to my truck as my wife and ZKR were waiting to complete a Critical Congenital Heart Disease (CCHD) Test. As I returned to our room the nurse was doing the CCHD, and his numbers were lower than the minimum. He failed the CCHD three times and was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) because he failed the test multiple times. The moment the nurse said “I need to take this baby to the NICU”, our hearts sank. To make matters worse, my wife had a cold, and she was not able to visit Zack in the NICU for 3 days. From December 28-30 I spent most of the day with my child. I was there for what felt like 18 hours out of the day. I took quick breaks to run home and shower and eat.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can prepare you for that kind of experience. I can tell you this, your body and mind can take extreme duress when you focus on that little life that you helped to create. It worked for me. For three days, I focused on only my son and my wife. A saving grace was the love, prayer and positive vibes that my friends and family sent our way. I also was able to function and keep my focus with Bulletproof Coffee (Coffee, Coconut Oil, Grassfed Butter). I also found time to get a little spiritual and used my time going back and forth to listen to a local Christian radio station that played positive music. Those three days were emotionally and physically grueling, but I really believe that focusing on my son and wife was what helped me to carry on. After three days my wife was able to visit ZKR. We were able to ring in the New Year with our little man. After 12 days, ZKR came home and now he’s doing well.
I just want to share my story for any Dads going through a similar experience. You can never prepare for your newborn going into the NICU, but I believe their is strength and encouragement in knowing that others are going through similar situations. Please feel free to comment and get in contact with me 🙂 Enjoy a few of my pics from this situation.
This is my wife and I on New Year’s Eve in the NICU. My little man had a little bit of a rough landing, but the experience made us stronger as a couple, and for me as a man and new Dad.
The baby fur is called “Lanugo”, and its perfectly normal. This is my little man.