Dad Advice: How To Prepare A First Born Child to Become a Big Brother

Justin Roberts has the best song about the moment a family of three becomes a quartet. Listen to “Cartwheels and Somersaults” and come back to finish this article. I’ll wait…

Awesome, right?

Okay, so depending on your kid, the transition from only-child to big brother/big sister can be challenging. Here are some expert tips from dads who have navigated these sibling waters.

Dad Advice: How To Prepare A First Born Child to Become a Big Brother

Marcus Martinez: Involve big brother as much as you can. Have him help with diaper changes by grabbing diapers and wipes, throwing away the soiled ones, etc. Have him help during feeding times by holding the bottle, even if mom breastfeeds, have her pump and use the bottle if possible. And set up days for big brother where he gets to hangout with just mom or dad for the day. The key is making him still feel wanted and important by both parents. Having him play a part in little brother or sister’s life will go a long way also. He’ll still have a little jealousy which is natural, but if he’s made to feel important he’ll adjust much easier. My wife and I just had baby number 2 and so far big sister has taken to the baby very well through this stuff. Best of luck!

Marianne Haider: No matter how much you prepare them, a little jealousy and resentment does seep in. I remember my doctor explaining it to me like this: Think about how you’d feel if your husband brought home another wife one fine day and you had no choice but to accept her no questions asked! It’s similar with a sibling! Will take time for the bond to develop. But once it does, it’s beautiful to watch as they grow.

Tanfa Mae: I gave my 3-year-old son a stroller and a doll. He was, and still is, an amazing big brother even 14 years later. I taught him how to take care of his baby and all the essentials.

Stephen Hunt: We bought a nice gift for my oldest when we brought little brother home from the hospital. My wife had it wrapped and made it something big brother wanted for a while (a wooden train set with tracks). We told big brother it was from little brother.

Matthew Shaker: Give him jobs to do that make him feel like a big kid, and like he’s helping take care of baby.

Ernie Proulx: Take him shopping for the baby and let him pick things out and make him apart of as much as possible.

Jessica Young Doria: My kids’ doctor gave us the most helpful advice ever: If my older son and the baby both needed something at the same time, I should tend to the three year old before the newborn. Instincts often lead us towards the opposite action, but he says, “The newborn is okay to cry for a moment while you tend to the needs of your older child. But older children tend to feel that they are less important and only of value when helping with the baby. This simple step will ensure that he is still valuable simply because you love him.”

Josh Evraets: Try to get him excited about it and make him feel like he’s going to be an important part if it. When my wife and I had out 2nd and 3rd children we brought a small toy home for the other kids and said it was from the baby. They seemed to think that was really cool and helped with the jealousy part of it.

Share your tip on transitioning the first born child to becoming a big brother or sister!

*flickr photo by Jerry, used under Creative Commons license.