Black eye number three.
We were surprised when we asked our pediatrician if he and his family celebrated Christmas and simply responded “No.”
My wife remained silent for a moment, slightly stunned by the response from a man with a very British, almost Irish surname. “Do you celebrate Hanukkah?” she quickly recovered, though fearing strike number two. I noticed her eyes searching for affirmation, while simultaneously grasping for other holidays to offer next. “Yes, we do celebrate Hanukkah.” I could see my wife’s immediate relief.
After we discussed our respective holiday plans – he is going skiing; we are hosting both families at our house- we left the office and discussed our awkward moment.”Did I pull that off?” she turned and asked me as soon as the car door shut. “I was just so surprised when he said he didn’t celebrate Christmas.”
“There was definitely an awkward pause, but I think you recovered nicely.” The fact that our pediatrician is Jewish obviously has no effect on our feelings towards him as a person or as a doctor. I think the initial shock originates from a place of ignorance. How could we know so little about someone who plays such a major role in our son’s life? About someone who plays such a large part in our lives? When we questioned sleep training, we called him. He laughed at the moments our son led us to hysterics. He counseled us through sleepiness nights filled with earaches and bleeding gums. Every visit he remembers that I do all the cooking in our house asks me what I’ve been making lately. He remembered that we recently renovated our kitchen. He remembers our professions. He remembered a story about my son loving Indian food. I told him that story over a year ago!
We didn’t even know what holiday he celebrates with his family. How could we be so oblivious? Were we really that egotistical? Did it never come up in conversation? Did we miss something?
After I overcame the initial shock of our ignorance I stumbled upon a calming realization: His genuine interest and involvement is the the sign of a great doctor. He listens and remembers. He gave us the opportunity to share our lives with him, never forcing his life upon us. His empathy defines his diagnostic prowess and shapes his interactions with patients. This mild moment of awkward ignorance reaffirms our choice of physician. I’m looking forward to more discomfort.