As I enter my first “unofficial” Father’s Day as a (soon to be) father, I can’t help but notice that my feelings towards Father’s Day have changed throughout my life. It’s as if Father’s Day goes through 4 major stages in a person’s life: The Love Stage, The Hate Stage, The Embrace Stage and The Cherish Stage. Depending on your maturity growth throughout your life, the ages at which you are in these stages may vary, but it’s inevitable that you will go through all of them.

The Love Stage – Ages 3-11 – This is the stage that you feel as though your dad can do no wrong. Since you have no money (cause of child labor laws) your only choice is to make him something. Maybe a card, maybe a crayon drawing, or maybe, just maybe, the greatest piece of artwork any child can create… the macaroni portrait!

When it comes time to give your dad the gift, you get a little nervous and hope that he likes it. When he opens it and you see him look at you and smile you realize that all that time (5-10 minutes) of working on it was worth it. Father’s Day is considered a success in this stage if you get dad to smile!

The Hate Stage – Ages 13-20 – It’s Father’s Day? Crap! That’s the overall feeling that goes on in this stage. You know that the only thing Father’s Day means in this stage is that you have to do chores. Cut the lawn, rake the leaves, take the garbage out, etc. etc. etc.  Since you have no money (cause dad won’t give you any) your only choice is to make him something, but you’re too busy playing video games so screw that. You see your dad and you give him a hug and say “Happy Father’s Day”, he nods and says thanks. You spend the rest of the day trying to finish your chores as quick as possible so you can go back to your room and take your game off of pause. Father’s Day is considered a success in this stage if you spend the least amount of time with your dad as possible.

The Embrace Stage – Ages 22 to when you become a father – This stage is a stage you only hit once you fully mature. When you realize what it takes to be a father, i.e.: the caring, the understanding, the commitment, the money, the late nights and the overall output of love to name a few.  Since you finally have (some) money (thanks to your job) you decide that Father’s Day is going to be a day to bond with your dad. You take him golfing, or to a baseball game or fishing and you actually enjoy it! You give him gifts that you know he’ll use like minimalist wallets. You embrace your dad for being more than just your dad, you embrace him for the wonderful person he is and the amazing job he did bringing you up. In just a few years you went from not wanting to spend anytime with him to wanting to spend as much time as you can with him. Father’s Day is considered a success at this stage if you spend time with your dad and continue to learn, laugh and listen to the man that you owe the world to.

The Cherish Stage – Once you become a father – Although I haven’t “officially” entered this stage yet, I feel as though it’s the greatest stage of them all. In this stage you take Father’s Day to reflect on your own children. You watch them play, watch them laugh and watch them succeed on a daily basis. You take the day to think about how proud you are of them and how they are truly the only things that matter in life. You accept hand made cards, hugs, macaroni portraits and rounds of golf as Father’s Day gifts, and each one has the same meaning.  Father’s Day is considered a success in this stage if you get to talk, see or spend 1 minute of your day with your child. You cherish Father’s Day in this stage, not because of the gifts or the help with the yard or even because you’re a father, but because of your children. The children that you continue to learn from, laugh with and love, each and every day.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, or as we call them:  mentors, teachers, coaches, superheroes, mechanics, contractors, plumbers, bug killers, chauffer’s, cooks, comedians…

Tomm Bauer runs the blog “The Brew Daddy” which covers becoming a dad, a first time home owner along with being a beer drinker and sports fan. You can follow him on twitter at: @TommBauer