Photo credit: Kevin Ashley Photography
Jared McBride of Kansas City, Missouri made his way to the Life of Dad family on March 31st, 2018. He had requested to join the Expectant & New Dads Facebook Group. Like many soon-to-be fathers, he was on a quest to learn more about becoming a dad for the first time.
“I joined the group originally because Felicia was in several moms groups during the pregnancy and she kinda pushed me to get some support, so I thought, what the heck?!’”
Jared didn’t expect to find a community of men who floated in the same vessel, who were willing to share their failures, successes, fear and laughter. But that’s where he landed.
Only a few short days later, on April 2nd, Jared joined the exclusive club of fatherhood.
The overwhelming joy that propels a man into patriarchy was overshadowed by unexpected news from the doctors. His beautiful daughter, Avelyne, had been born with a rare congenital heart disease. Her syndrome, Smith-Lemli-Opitz, has already claimed the lives of 10 children from the official SLOS group and the syndrome contributed heavily to her developmental issues.
From the moment she entered this world, ‘Avy’ was fighting for her life.
As a first-time father, Jared felt compelled to begin openly posting and sharing his experiences, knowing that this ‘share’ could become complicated. With the arms of a community wrapped around him, the days and weeks of living in the hospital seemed less lonely, less overwhelming.
From the NICU in their hometown where Avelyne was born, to the flight to Boston for a heart surgery, every one of Jared’s posts were accompanied by beautiful photos and heartfelt expressions. Jared and Felicia’s first Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were spent in the hospital, yet their progress updates were always full of hope and breakthroughs.
Remarkably, a little more than two weeks after Avy was born, Jared became a Moderator of the Expectant & New Dads for Life of Dad. He had established a great rapport with the community, and had found purpose (and perhaps even some comfort) in the work of encouraging and supporting other dads from all different walks of life.
Jared was constantly surrounded by love, encouragement and support from other dads not only here at home, but all over the world. Jared, Felicia and Avelyne’s journey touched and moved so many in our community.
Separately and together, they gave us something precious. A higher purpose that strengthened our bond as dads. They reminded us of how precious this life is, how important a moment can be. Jared’s journey inspired us with a love for our children beyond our capability. Their story encouraged us to be better men, dads and humans.
Earlier this week, Jared shared with us that Avelyne wasn’t going to make it. The comment thread was flooded with an incredible outpouring of love and support for his family. The brotherhood of fatherhood that had formed so tightly around him was quite simply surreal to bear witness to.
With devastating news comes grief so deep that life doesn’t prepare you for.
Jared’s daughter Avelyne never got to leave the hospital. His baby girl became an angel on June 27th, 2018, just short of her 3-month birthday.
With Jared’s permission and blessing, Life of Dad is sharing this story with the world as a celebration; both as an example of the amazing things that can come when a global community rallies together, and for Avelyne’s legacy to show that parental love can transcend borders, barriers and cultural differences.
In talking with Jared over the last few hours, he had this to say:
“I know someday, somewhere, I will get to make up that lost time with my beautiful girl and I know she watches over me just like I did for her. I miss her so much man, I really do… she taught me what true love and true strength really are. Or maybe it was locked inside of me waiting to be discovered. Either way, the world is lesser without her. It’s been an honor to help other dads and congratulate them on their newborns, I love the new friends I have made and the support and prayers that have been sent to Avy.”
Jared will forever be Avy’s dad.
Prayers and love, baby Avelyne. You chose an amazing daddy while you were here with us. Keep following the light.
EDITOR’S NOTE: A ‘Youcaring’ account has been set up to help Jared and Felicia ease the burden of medical and funeral service costs. If you feel compelled, please visit HERE.