I’m on a flight, heading to Orlando, Florida, as I write this. We are taping “Ellen” shows at Universal Orlando Resort. This is the fourth year doing this, and the shows are always a blast. However, this year, my life is a bit different…

As a kid, growing up in New Jersey, going to Orlando was the dream. That’s where DisneyWorld and Universal Studios were. We took a few family trips down there, and have many memories of the excitement, and also me and my sisters getting carsick during the long drive south.

Now, the dream is back at home, back in Los Angeles. That’s where my baby girl is. I kissed her goodbye at 6AM, wanting to sing “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” to her. As soon as I plugged my guitar into the amp, I realized I had to go, so the song will have to wait.

Anyway, as I’m looking out the airplane window at our wide open country, I began thinking of a list of things that changed since having our baby girl.

BBABS = Before Barbara Anne was born
ABABS = After Barbara Anne was born

BBABS = When I was on a plane alone, I would miss Lucy.
ABABS = I’m thinking about Lucy, and my baby girl who spit up on me this morning.

BBABS = I would tailgate in the parking lot of the Social Security Office.
ABABS = Yesterday, I went into the office, and got my daughter’s SSN. 6**-**-***!

BBABS = Lucy and I went skydiving, and I was not scared.
ABABS = We won’t go skydiving ever again. I was actually very, very frightened.

BBABS = We would sleep with a fan on in the bedroom.
ABABS = No fan, so we can hear our baby breath, and we play soothing baby music.

BBABS = I would swear to never tell anybody that I fall asleep to baby music.
ABABS = I don’t care anymore. I’ve got a cool kid! And the music is really calming.

BBABS = I didn’t care that much about health insurance.
ABABS = I could write a book on health insurance, and I long to be an underwriter.

BBABS = The word “family” meant the Riles crew, or the Bansley clan.
ABABS = We have our own family. Introducing our new last name… Bergeron!

BBABS = Burps, gas, and poop could be considered rude in public.
ABABS = The above actions are encouraged, and even applauded.

BBABS = The Mets were my favorite baseball team.
ABABS = Same as above, and does anybody else really love soothing baby music?

BBABS = I would never consider faking my baby’s launch in a hot air balloon.
ABABS = I would never consider faking my baby’s launch in a hot air balloon.

BBABS = I disliked theme parks in every which way possible.
ABABS = I can maybe see how it could be fun for our daughter, once she turns 26.

* Please don’t ever tell our baby that we leave an hour away from Disneyland, California Adventure, Knott’s Berry Farm, and Magic Mountain.

** Please Please don’t ever tell her we are walking distance to Universal Studios Hollywood. Or that when you buy a day pass, you get a year free.

*** All you other moms and dads out there…let me know what else are the big changes I should expect. I want “Life of Dad” to be really interactive. Thanks for reading my stuff!

**** Lucy, thanks for taking such good care of my baby when I’m gone!