There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
https://twitter.com/sweatsntopknots/status/1054723863584530433
I gave my kids their tablets and they're still driving me batshit crazy. I want a refund.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) October 22, 2018
Save a ton of time by never unloading groceries again. Just throw the bags of food directly into a teenager’s open mouth.
— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 22, 2018
A Parenting Mad Lib:
Why is there ____(adjective)____ ____(noun)____ all over the ____(noun)____? If you don’t stop ____(verb ending in “ing”)____ and clean it up by the time I count to ____(number)____, I swear I’m going to ____(empty threat)____!
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 25, 2018
Everyone loves a hayride for about the first six seconds of a hayride.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 25, 2018
It’s the 21st century…would someone please upgrade Oscar the Grouch’s metal trash can to a rolling plastic one.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) October 24, 2018
I just got out of the shower and my baby started screaming. I was confused until I realized he probably doesn’t recognize me with clean hair.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 24, 2018
Me: *Tossing my 4yo's used tissue in the trash*
4: Why did you throw my tissue away? You threw a piece of me in the trash!!
*sobbing uncontrollably*? Okay, it's bedtime.
— Mrs. Lucero ? (@cafchaosgrace) October 22, 2018
I finally posted pics of my kids at a pumpkin patch, so I get to stay on Facebook for another year
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) October 24, 2018
Behind every Holiday Photoshoot is a mom threatening to cancel all joy and happiness until the end of time if everyone doesn’t sit still and smile for 2 freaking seconds.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 25, 2018
Me: Mom got a box in the mail. Want to guess what's inside?
4: Open it!
Me: It's kind small. I'm gonna guess clothes. Maybe a shirt. What's your guess?
4: Open it!
Me: OK but guess what's inside. You guess….
4: A couch!
— dadpression (@Dadpression) October 28, 2018
If I’d known people would pay good money just to enter houses full of scary sounds and loud screaming, I would have had kids a lot sooner.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 28, 2018
My mom used to say "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" and I'd be like "I've already got something, but thanks"
— Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) October 24, 2018
The brisk autumn nights of family board games by the fire have been replaced with the family huddled around the warm glow of an iPad and YouTube videos on how the hell to help the kids with their algebra homework.
— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 23, 2018
I never thought I'd be so excited to see deodorant on sale, but with two athletes in the house, here I am. I just Tiger Woods fist pumped in the "smell good" aisle…
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) October 24, 2018
I handed my kid a snack and he said, “Thanks, popcorn-lady.”
Popcorn-lady.
Because I gave him popcorn.
Uh…I think he’s forgetting that I also gave him life.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 25, 2018
Just caught my 9yo forging my signature on a school paper. He’s going to be a blast as a teenager.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 24, 2018
My son and I were having a hard time fitting together on the short side of the couch, and he told me I need to "do more yoga".
But anyway, selling kids is illegal, right?
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) October 21, 2018
Me to my kids: You’ve been on the iPad too long. Go watch TV.
— The Baron (@baronvonbike) October 26, 2018
Unless there's a chance it's a dragon, DO NOT invite me to your baby's reveal party
— Pugnado ? (@LuvPug) October 21, 2018
I heard my 9yo recording a video and she said “My mom won’t let me melt a crayon in the microwave, so if you see her on social media, unfriend her and unfollow her.” I’ll be watching closely to see whose side you guys are on.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 23, 2018