There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
Me: "I can't concentrate; I need quiet for just a minute."
7y.o: "Oh, ok! How many seconds is a minute? 60, right? Ok, one, two, three, four, five, six…."
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 20, 2018
The only Black Friday deal I’d be interested in would be a discount on the bribes I’m offering my kid to let me sleep in tomorrow.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) November 24, 2018
My preschooler made Barbie ask Moana if she wanted to "get snacks at the winery", and I think I found my best friend for life.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 20, 2018
The “mom, mom, mommy” scene from Family Guy but it’s Old Navy emailing me about their Black Friday sale.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 23, 2018
My kids decorated the Christmas tree by themselves.
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it*Redecorates the Christmas tree*
— Maybe She… (@CantWaitToNap) November 23, 2018
Can you believe people actually pay for their kids to take parkour classes?
My kids do that in my living room for free.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 20, 2018
Putting your kid in time-out: 20% of the time it works every time.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) November 25, 2018
Thanksgiving Break Day 1:
“We don’t ‘practice skydiving’ in the house or at all.”— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) November 20, 2018
Parenting level 100:
I just smashed fruit loops into the carpet to make it easier to vacuum them up ????
— Weedies (@thisisweedies) November 20, 2018
Ok, mom and dad in the middle, the six of you hold hands and walk away from the camera down this abandoned bridge. You know, just act natural.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) November 23, 2018
Toy stores should spread the toys out on the floor so you can see them in their natural state and practice stepping on them.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) November 25, 2018
Someone commented that my kids were well-behaved today while we were running errands today & I feel like I pulled off a heist.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 22, 2018
Me at home: Sorry, kids you can’t eat that – you need to eat something healthy
Me on vacation: You want a bus station hot dog? Sure!
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/Mr_Kapowski/status/1065411144930578432
I knew that my 5 yr old daughter was my legacy when she whispered "I'll take care of you" and tried to buckle the pizza in the car after she put the heated seat on
— Patsy Simon (@Simeogirl) November 20, 2018
-Son, pass me the wilson phillips screwdriver
-Hold on— Al Dente (@six_2_and_even) November 23, 2018
How to put kids to sleep:
1. Tuck them in 27 times.
2. Cry.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 25, 2018
It concerns me as a parent that most Disney movies show kids that they’ll have an amazing life after their parents die horrifically.
— Jeff (@dadsrpeopletoo) November 25, 2018
I hope everyone is enjoying their beg-your-child-to-have-one-bite-of-turkey-after-the’ve-had-three-slices-of-bread-if-they-want-any-cookies holiday.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) November 22, 2018
In hind sight “Up your butt and around the corner” was not the best phrase to add to 4’s vocabulary.
But my God, you should have seen Nana’s face when 4 told her where she could find her glasses.
Worth. It.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) November 20, 2018