There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
I still giggle every time my son shouts "I have a legendary bush!" into his headset while playing Fortnite.
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) January 25, 2019
While leaving the water park today my kids asked if we’re going to do anything fun for the holiday weekend.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 20, 2019
My kids: *taking out Ouija board*
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) January 21, 2019
It takes them 30 minutes to put pants on, but they can delete iTunes, open 3 apps and call your boss in less than 15 seconds.
— MomLifePart2 (@MamaLifePart2) January 27, 2019
Parenting: Whatever you believe worked yesterday will not work today.
— Andy Shaw (@instafatherandy) January 24, 2019
A child’s imagination is a wonderful thing. But it’s also a thing that can turn the tv remote into a spaceship that gets lost in deep space for several weeks.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) January 24, 2019
Kids do this neat thing where they wreck your body during pregnancy and childbirth, then blatantly insult it from the moment they learn to talk.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 24, 2019
Someone at work asked me if I was going to have another kid and I laughed so loudly her glass of water exploded.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 24, 2019
“Daddy!! Guess how much money mommy just spent?!?!” -said the child who’s never taking a secret trip to Wal-mart again
— here comes the son (@idtweetforever) January 23, 2019
If you’re undecided about having kids, listen to someone cough for 8 years straight and see how you like it.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 23, 2019
*Gets bit by spider*
*I don't get powers*
*Spider develops bags under all eight eyes and starts yelling at my kids*
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 27, 2019
You call it a 3-day-weekend, parents call it overtime.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) January 22, 2019
9yo: Dad! Come watch this video – it’s SO funny!
Narrator: But it was not funny. In fact, it made no sense at all.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 23, 2019
Sorry there are 26 kids in your daughter’s class and Valentines come in boxes of 24.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 23, 2019
I kid you not my daughter just said “Everything is so hard” while I was simultaneously brushing her teeth and blowing her nose. But, yes, go on child. Tell me how hard “everything” is.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 23, 2019
4: What’s for dinner?
— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) January 24, 2019
I'm thinking of starting my own @Netflix_CA show for parents who watched the #KonMari series and want the world to know what really happens 5 seconds after you stack your kid's clothes neatly in their drawer.
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) January 24, 2019
I totally expected to clean messes, wipe noses, and give hugs as a parent.
I didn’t expect to give elaborate standing ovations to my kids for eating broccoli, nor did I expect to high-five a stuffed monkey because he also ate the imaginary broccoli that I pretended to feed him.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 23, 2019
[watching athletes compete in Titan Games]
Child: Dad do you think you could do that?
Me [winded after putting on pants]: probably
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 28, 2019