There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
Life teaches us that you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
Kids teach us that you can break a LOT of eggs and not be able to make an omelette at all.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) June 28, 2018
I was getting impatient for my 6yo to get dressed & he yelled “You can’t rush art, mom!!!”
So he won that argument.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 29, 2018
Me: Do you have to go to the bathroom before practice?
7yo: No.
Me:Are you sure?
7yo: Yes.
As her practice starts…
7yo: I have to go to the bathroom. #parenting #fatherhood #lifeofdad— DadatWork (@ArtEddy3) June 19, 2018
*week of summer with nothing to do
*kids get up by themselves at 6am*1st week of summer camp
*I drag kids out of bed at 7:15 daily— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 26, 2018
My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he'd carry on playing with its corpse
— Baron Stigmund (@stiggib3) July 1, 2018
“…AND THEN THE LADY LAYS AN EGG AND SHE AND A GUY DO SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE AND THEN A BABY COMES…”
– my son loudly sharing his sex knowledge in a crowded Roman restaurant
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 27, 2018
https://twitter.com/momthoughts13/status/1012660079676407808
A dad’s favorite part of vacation is acting like he’s better than everyone else because he woke up the earliest.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 30, 2018
Watching my daughter play "go to the store". Not sure which part is more relatable- the part where she fights with her pretend husband about where they parked, or the part where she realizes she forgot something from her list and has to aggressively turn the car around.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 26, 2018
My 7yo just walked out of the bathroom, came over to me, and whispered, "The scooter is hidden in the tub," and walked away. When I asked him why his little brother's scooter was in the bathtub, he put his arms up as if he had no idea and kept walking.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 28, 2018
You should keep a close eye on your kids because sometimes they make terrible decisions and other times you see they propped up an iPad by the tub to watch Netflix while eating cookies during their bath, teaching you exactly how to live your best life.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) June 26, 2018
I just finished off my daughter’s leftover juice and swallowed a surprise tater tot. I’m not looking for sympathy, I just want you to be aware that this kind of thing can happen.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 24, 2018
Asking your child to go get their sibling for dinner is just asking them to stand next to you and scream their sibling's name.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 27, 2018
On my birthday I always remember what my father told me: I wanted a son.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) June 25, 2018
My 8yo at the water park: Goes down every slide, rides surfing simulator, gets dumped on by giant water bucket
My 8yo at home after: Has full-blown meltdown because the bath water is slightly chilly— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 26, 2018
Yeah, I could restrict my kids' screen time, sure, but I just don't want to be the kind of parent who *limits* her children, ya know? Right, yeah, I want them to feel limitless, that's all…
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) June 29, 2018
8: “Where’s Dad? I need some help”
Me: “I can help you!”
8: “It’s about the TV”
Me:
8:
Me: “Dad’s upstairs.”— Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 26, 2018
I asked my son to look through the playroom for things to donate to goodwill, and he was so generous about it, within minutes, he came back with a whole bag filled with his sister’s toys.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 29, 2018
WANTED
Someone to get my 7yo to stop telling me about Minecraft.REWARD
I will do anything you want. ANY. THING.Please hurry!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 30, 2018
8yo: Daddy, can we get Oreos?
Me: No, you never eat them
8yo: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS EAT THEM ALL BEFORE I GET ANY
Me: Oh— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 26, 2018
9: “I hate guitar lessons. I wanna be able to play well without them.”
Me: “yeah but you need to put in the work first”
9: “sooo annoying ”
Me: “but you can’t expect to get results with no effort.”Also me: *eats salad two days in a row and whines about not losing weight
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 1, 2018
Sorry I’m late, had to wait for my toddler to go through the 5 stages of grief putting on a pair of pants.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 23, 2018