There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
It is easier to wrestle and pin a wild bear than to wipe a one-year-old's nose.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 19, 2018
Mom of 4mo on House Hunters:
The baby's toys are everywhere. It makes me crazy. We need a house with somewhere we can tuck them all away….
Me: Bahahahahahaha…
HHMom: and they'll just stay out of the living room and in the playroom.
Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bless her heart.— Ohio mom of two (@OhioMomoftwo) July 17, 2018
10yo: 1yo is drinking cream out of the spray can thingy!
Me: Your fault. She copies 2yo and 2yo copies you.
10yo: And I copy you so everything we do is your fault.10, people. She's 10.
— Hashashin (@HashashinTag) July 17, 2018
My son turns on the closed captioning to read the subtitles so he can log it as part of his summer reading & I have to admit just this once that I’m a little envious of how his mind works.
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 21, 2018
My son asked what sides we were having with dinner like we haven’t had mac & cheese and microwaved green beans with every meal since he was born.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 17, 2018
ESPN is covering Fortnite vlog stars now, so I just told my sons to stop reading and start playing video games
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 22, 2018
WHEN MY DAUGHTER FIGHTS WITH A FRIEND: days of either silence or intense negotiations via text or written note. lots of Adele. tears aplenty. eventual emotional reunion
WHEN MY SON FIGHTS WITH A FRIEND: one punches the other in the nuts. both laugh. then they play Fortnite.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) July 16, 2018
My son said that if a hoverboard was also a vacuum, he’d vacuum every day. Then my daughter started arguing with him over who would get to vacuum.
Why has no one created this mythical vacuum over which children argue over who gets the do chores?
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 17, 2018
People without kids should be happy their brain cells work in a fairly normal manner.
For example, I've recently looked for my cellphone under the couch…using the flashlight on my cellphone.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 21, 2018
FYI, my kid likes bread, cheese, and ham. However, putting all 3 together in sandwich form will summon the devil.
— Magnificently〰️Messy (@Musings_of_wine) July 16, 2018
The 3 Kid Levels of Losing Things:
Lost = temporarily misplaced
Lost lost = possibly gone for good
LOST LOST = it’s so gone it’s as if it never even existed
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) July 15, 2018
"Ready? One, two, three, PUSH!"
I can add "pooping" to things my twins like to do together
— ?Lucky O’ Mombie? (@MamaMooMoo87) July 18, 2018
90% of parenting teens is telling them NOT to do things that, when you were their age, you SWORE you’d be a “cool” parent and let your kids do.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) July 22, 2018
Good morning to everyone, except people who create YouTube videos that teach kids how to make slime.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 16, 2018
6-year-old: I’m not cleaning my room.
Me: I don’t like your tone.
6: What does “tone” mean?
Me: I don’t like your voice.
6: *weird Kermit the Frog voice* I’m not cleaning my room.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) July 20, 2018
Me: Don’t bite your brother
8yo: Why not?
Me: Ok, Fine bite him.
His brother: Hey!!— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 19, 2018
The girl one is having a meltdown because I told her we can't go to outer space today.
* jazz hands *
Kids!
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) July 17, 2018
It makes me uncomfortable to ask someone for something if I think they’ll say no.
If only my kids felt the same way, I wouldn’t have this migraine.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 19, 2018
Driving tests should have a portion where a kid in the backseat just pummels you with rapid-fire questions while you try to merge.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 18, 2018
You know you have a five-year-old when you pour yourself a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms with no marshmallows in it.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 20, 2018