There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
I’m the type of mom that jumps out and scares my kids after they’ve been telling each other scary stories.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 16, 2018
Just scheduled a dentist appointment for my kids on their last day before school starts. I’m good at making friends.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 16, 2018
[kid starts brushing their teeth by themselves]
Toothpaste! *sweeps outstretched hand slowly* Toothpaste as far as the eye can see.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) August 15, 2018
Potty training book: watch your toddler for subtle signs they need to use the restroom.
My kid: MOOOMMMMM IM NOT POOPING IN MY UNDERWEAR.#pottytraining #hewas #kidsareliars
— AllisonDepatie (@AllisonDepatie) August 16, 2018
Childbirth classes should include useful parenting advice, like how to dispose of a kid's artwork in the outside trash bin only.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) August 16, 2018
*starts my own YouTube channel so my kids will listen to me.
— The Baron (@baronvonbike) August 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/LoveNLunchmeat/status/1028754164891955200
6: I WORKED SO HARD ON THAT AND SHE RUINED IT!!
Me: Sorry sweetie, but you know you couldn’t have kept it forever
6 [sobbing] WHY
Me: Well [checking email to see when school starts again] first of all, you made it out of bubbles…
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 16, 2018
My son's crew of 9yo buds just arrived and one goes "BALLS i forgot my phone" and that kid is the one I've decided to claim as my new kid
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) August 14, 2018
Having kids is a fun experiment in seeing how quickly all of your favorite things can be destroyed.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 12, 2018
Me: Why are your shorts hanging from the fridge handle?
6: I got tired of wearing them.
Me: right of course
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 13, 2018
5yo: Does everyone in the world have kids?
Me: No, some people decide they don’t want to have them.
5: I don’t want kids.
Me: Why not?
5: They’re a lot of work.
Me: Then why don’t you be less difficult for me?
5: Well, you decided to have kids.— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 18, 2018
I just accidentally cut a line of cars I thought were parked in the kid pick-up line at their new elementary school and there's no turning back now. If this is the last you hear from me, tell my family I love them.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) August 16, 2018
[on road trip]
Me: I AM NOT turning this car around
Son: *cries*
Me: Nope. No way.[45 min later]
Me: *walks out of house holding Mr. Teddy Bear*
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) August 18, 2018
Me: What do you guys want me to make you for breakfast?
9yo: Pancakes!
8yo: Waffles!
6yo: Bacon!Me: Let me rephrase that. Lucky Charms or Frosted Flakes?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 17, 2018
If my kid was holding a piece of poop, my other kid would scream for it.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) August 13, 2018
You know you’ve gone full dad when you realize you are explaining how water towers work to an entire car full of kids who don’t care.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 14, 2018
My 7yo insisted on making his own lunch today which was a great learning experience. I learned that you should never underestimate how much mayo one person can use on a sandwich & apparently sprinkles taste good with everything.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) August 14, 2018
BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children"
4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its."
— Bret Turner (@bretjturner) August 15, 2018