There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
4: Daddy, I spilled some milk.
Me: A little, or a lot?
4: A tiny bit.
Me: Okay.
4: But that tiny bit went everywhere.— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) September 25, 2018
The good news is that we finally found the sippy cup of milk our toddler hid. The bad news is that that toddler is now 11 years old.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 24, 2018
Why are all children allergic to the flush handle on toilets??? ??
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) September 29, 2018
Me: It will be so nice to have a Saturday morning where neither kid has a game.
Wife: [reading email] They have team pictures at 8 AM…..not it.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 29, 2018
You’re not officially a parent until you drive by your kid’s school on a weekend and pretend you’re dropping them off there.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) September 29, 2018
I'd be more excited about my kid raving about the dinner I made tonight if he wasn't going on and on about it as though I've literally never made a good meal before
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) September 29, 2018
I said:
Hurry up and do your homework boys, we have to go to soccer practiceThey heard:
Search all the drawers in the house until you find balloons. Then, blow them up and run around the house screaming.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 25, 2018
One time I put the burnt side of a grilled cheese face down on my child’s plate and almost got away with it.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) September 24, 2018
My four year old is insisting he'll only eat "monster food," and whatever that is, it's definitely not the grilled cheese my wife just made.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) September 27, 2018
Me: I love you, baby
3: I love your iPad, mama
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) September 29, 2018
Dad: Did you know all beekeepers are allergic to bees?
Son: Please don’t, Dad.
Dad: They all have hives!
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) September 27, 2018
Me: Can you go tell your brother that dinner is ready?
Son: *standing one inch from my ear* DINNER IS READY!
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 30, 2018
My son’s gonna use his skateboard for the first time today if anyone has a cast he can borrow.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 22, 2018
Son: Dad can we go to a haunted house this year?
Dad: What's wrong with the one we live in?
Son: What?!
Dad: Goodnight, son.
— Talk To The Hatter (@Talk_To_The_Hat) September 29, 2018
https://twitter.com/iwearaonesie/status/1044703473764315136
It’s weird how we tell our kids not to lie until they turn 11 and the kid’s menu is for 10 and under.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 26, 2018
By 2021, school pictures will come with financing options.
— Jurisdoc (@jurisdoc741) September 26, 2018
Having children opens you up to a world of new experiences.
I just found human poop on the floor, and when I asked my son if it was his, he shrugged his shoulders and casually said "I don't know, probably."And it's like, yes, motherhood has given me this.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 24, 2018