There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
The kids brought home a slip saying that tomorrow is crazy mismatched sock day. Finally, a day that embraces my household management style.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 2, 2018
Whenever I want junk for dinner, I simply plan nothing and ask the kids what they want. That way it's never my idea to eat bad things.
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) May 3, 2018
What position is it in soccer where my kid tries to find a four leaf clover?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 1, 2018
"Okay, if I say 'Damn it', I get in trouble; but, if I say 'Beaver dammit', I'm totally in the clear."
– 3 year olds.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) April 30, 2018
I’m a parent, so if anyone wants to discuss popular TV from 2014 I just caught up
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) May 3, 2018
A fun thing about having kids is that they wipe their hands on all your clothes and furniture and nothing you own will ever be clean again.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) May 3, 2018
Welcome to parenthood.
Your outdoor rocks are indoor rocks now.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) May 4, 2018
2-year-old: *cries*
Me: What's wrong?
2: I WANT A KNIFE.
I think I'll let her cry this one out.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 6, 2018
I’m only now finally getting to take a shower at the end of a long day because when you have kids personal hygiene is a luxury.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 6, 2018
Baby giraffes and horses can walk just minutes after they’re born.
My kids are teens and can’t pour milk without spilling it.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) May 3, 2018
https://twitter.com/momthoughts13/status/992056876106895360
My 5yo son just slept-walked into the kitchen, pulled down his pants and peed all over the kitchen table. Glad to hear you are pregnant with your first though.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 4, 2018
My son’s soccer practice doesn’t end until 8pm, and it’s causing him question the arbitrary bedtime I’ve established. EVERYTHING IS UNRAVELING.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 4, 2018
New Parent: Don’t forget to brush your hair in the back. Here let me help.
Veteran parent: Don’t forget your hat.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) May 2, 2018
My 8yo’s been walking around this grocery store touching everything, and now he’s licking his fingers.
Can’t wait until the whole family has Ebola in a few days.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 6, 2018
I was calling out to my son but kept saying the wrong name. After getting it right on the 4th try, he said, “Jeez, Mom, you’ve had way too many kids.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 5, 2018
Me: I can’t believe the dog is going to be 3 tomorrow!
8: That means she’ll be 21 in dog years and she can have a doggie beer.
Me: What?
8: Or wine.
Me: Stop it.
8: Whiskey.— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) May 4, 2018