There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
After watching classic cartoons, our 4 year old refers to Tom and Jerry as "the mouse with a knife."
— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 6, 2018
Just spent 45 minutes with my son looking for the remote control. Don't say I don't spend quality time with my kids.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 13, 2018
Me, to other parents: We try to limit screentime to two hours a day at most.
Me, to my toddler: Here’s my Netflix password, don’t wake me before noon.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 12, 2018
The hardest stage of parenthood is whatever one you’re going through.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) May 11, 2018
My 8yo can’t play video games today, but instead of doing something productive, he’s having his brother loudly narrate his game from the next room.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 12, 2018
After being sad about our oldest child moving out, my husband said, “We can always have another one!”
So, anyways, now we have 2 people moving out.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 12, 2018
Good morning. My 3 year old is throwing a tantrum because I went to the bathroom.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) May 10, 2018
Other women: Nothing is sexier than a dad holding a baby.
Me: Nothing is sexier than my husband using his thundering dad-voice to frighten our children into behaving when I’ve abandoned all hope.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 10, 2018
Me: I used to be very good at running.
7-year-old: Was that before you were very good at sitting?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2018
In my experience when one door closes it reopens and closes 13 times by a small child.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 6, 2018
If two parents can’t say to each other “can you even believe this sh*t” with just a look then they need to do some serious work on their communication skills.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) May 9, 2018
“Change your underwear or you’re not allowed to wear cowboy boots” is a real thing I had to say to my toddler this morning.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) May 8, 2018
Me “Go play outside.”
Kids “Ugh it’s too hot!!”
Me “Go!”
Kids “Will you play with us?!”
Me “Outside? No way! It’s way too hot.”
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) May 8, 2018
Bandaids are accessories.
-Toddlers and Nelly
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) May 9, 2018
My daughter won’t eat chicken but she will drink water out of a squirt gun that was left outside all winter
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 9, 2018
9: Wow, you’ve been eating a lot of gluten lately.
Me: You know, I really don’t like your generation.— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) May 9, 2018
There are only 4 of us but we have the laundry of a much larger family.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 9, 2018
2yo: “mommy I did it!”
Me: “that’s awesome, buddy I knew you could do it!”
(I have no idea what he did)
— Melissa (@Fiveoclockmommy) May 10, 2018
My daughter found a dinosaur bone in the grass at her preschool and IT IS NOT A STICK. Do not even think about telling her otherwise!
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) May 10, 2018