This is my running diary of what happening this morning with Baby Barbara. Times may be off by a few minutes, because, well, I was taking care of a baby, and did my best to keep track. Also, Lucy does many more shifts than I do (she’s a star), so this is just a sample of what happens when it is my turn.
5:52AM
Barbara is asleep next to me in her “boppy” chair. Her next feeding is scheduled for 6:30AM. I just looked up the word “boppy” in the dictionary. It does not exist. However, “bippy” is defined as “an unspecified part of the anatomy.”
5:59AM
Barbara stirs. Is this it? No, back to sleep.
6:09AM
Barbara starting making sounds that sound like a combination of a burp and a hiccup. Biccups. Back to sleep.
6:11AM
Gas. Back to sleep.
6:12AM
She opened her mouth, now she is starting to move her eyebrows. Her natural Mohawk is in effect, as always.
6:14AM
We’ve got movement…legs, arms, yawn, and back to sleep.
6:18AM
I sneezed. This made her move all around. Sorry Babs.
6:20AM
She just let out one howl like a coyote, and scrunched up her eyebrows, like she is frustrated.
6:33AM
After that 13 minute mini-nap, we have serious movement…she’s waking herself up just in time to eat….she almost let out a cry, but refrained at last second. It was like when you are about to sneeze, and then don’t at the last second.
6:34AM
She’s crying, I’m going to warm the bottle. Bottle of rum.
6:36AM
Bottle warming. Baby Crying. Time to change a diaper.
6:40AM
Diaper changed. My little baby made dinosaur crying sounds the entire time she was being changed. She’s trying to eat my elbow, thinking it’s a bottle.
6:42AM
Still warming bottle, pacifier buys me precious time to stop the crying. I used a pacifier until I was 14.
6:43AM
I just poured breast milk on my arm. On purpose. You want to make sure it is not too hot.
6:44AM
Ladies and Gentlemen….the feeding begins.
6:45AM
Babs stares at me with her beautiful dark blue (about to turn brown) eyes while she is eating.
6:47AM
Yep, she has the same ears as me. Luckily a few sizes smaller. I was born with the same size ears I have now, and just grew into them last year.
6:49AM
Oh, we’re halfway there! Time to burp.
6:51AM
Warming bottle #2. I didn’t want to give too much, and have it go to waste if Barbara wasn’t hungry. Somebody works really hard to make this milk. And I’m not talking about the Ralph’s dairy section staffers.
6:52AM
Peabody award winning burp.
6:53AM
Gosh, she’s cute. We’re moving on to bottle #2.
6:56AM
Barbara is loving the milk (maybe the chocolate I added). She polishes it off, and burps.
6:58AM
Time to relax. The baby looks into my eyes, as I sit her up straight…
7:14AM
Stop. Swaddle Time. I’m ranked 14th in the Male Swaddling League of Studio City.
7:32AM
After walking around, talking, and singing to her, she has fallen asleep. I feel like I have perfected the move of putting her into her “boppy” chair, while not waking her up. As soon as I put her down, I wake her up. Two hours until the next feeding. I’ll eat somewhere in there too.