I am lucky enough to have received very important and essential support and care from both my parents in my life, despite divorce and other issues that split my family apart. My father in particular made sure I had a comfortable home and a good education, the two most vital necessities to succeed. For that, I will always be grateful to him and love him.

However, the rest I found was up to me. Many life lessons, from pushing my way through college and preparing for a job, to managing my personal finances and savings, I had little to no guidance in the very beginning. I had to teach myself the discipline I lacked growing up. I had to learn the hard way how to balance my social life and being responsible. I had to teach myself how to treat women. I saw all on my own the entitlement I had as a white male, compared to my other peers.

I forged my own path, which led me to my beautiful, lovely wife and he family. It was her father who had been extremely attentive and influential her life, that eventually because so for mine. He helped me fill in the gaps and guide me into the man, and eventually the father I wanted to be.

Now that I am a father of an incredible 21-month-old boy, I reflect back on these two men in my life and the lessons I learned from both. All of the lessons (positive or negative) were equally impactful to make me who I am today.

What is important to me now is:

  1. I prioritize time with my family.
  2. When I’m with my son, I am WITH him (not distracted).
  3. I (and my wife) work hard, and push myself in my career, to give my son a good life.
  4. I will teach responsibility, discipline, patience, and hard work by example.
  5. I will never stop being affectionate with my little boy.
  6. I will always try to be open with him so he is open with me.

I have no illusions that try as we might; there is no perfect way to parent. I just hope to maximize teaching my son what to do, and minimize teaching him what NOT to do.