My mom is a wonderful person. She is very caring. She remembers everyone’s birthdays and always sends gifts. She raised six kids in a house that was conservatively built for two petit pygmies. She’s an outstanding cook, a terrific grandparent and still works full time at a job that has her out the door at 3 am. Obviously to thank her for all of this, I should get her blood pressure up as high as possible with an April Fools’ prank. Another great thing about my mom is that she has a fantastic sense of humor. She is more than willing to dish it out just as much as I am, and after this one I’m kind of nervous about the possible retribution.

It had been a few years since I last pranked my parents (click link to check it out). Since then, they’ve firmly settled into the house they built, four more grandkids sprouted up and they made it through Hurricane Sandy relatively unscathed. Growing up, my parents sacrificed in order to send all of us to Catholic school. They had us in church every Sunday and rarely stray from being the nice quiet older couple anyone would want to live next to. So I sent them a bill for all of the pornography they’d definitely been ordering.

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I had my sister help me out after the letter was created. I needed my mom to get the letter, but not call Customer Service in an outrage before we had everything set up. So I mailed the letter to Coleen, who stopped by our parent’s house and pretended to find the letter in the mailbox.  When mom read it she had these choice words that my sister chronicled for me:

“Big Butts 4??? I guess I must have already watched Big Butts 1-3!”

“Well this is going to be an awkward phone call.”

The reason the timing of the Customer Service call was so crucial was because my good friend Art was going to play the roll of “Customer Service Agent” when my sister dialed for my mom. You see, Art handles Life of Dad’s podcasts (Check them all out with link) and has all the tools and know how to record a call like that. He has brilliantly interviewed countless celebrities like Shaquille O’ Neil, Jim Gaffigan and Ice Cube; yet Sarah Quinn might just be his best “interview” yet. It’s 10 minutes long, and worth every second.

You see? Art is a poet when it comes to this sort of thing. I especially love how he gets her to shout it out to him “You don’t watch what, ma’am??”. Sheer brilliance. Not to mention the speed with which he came back with the Downton Abby line. Damn that was awesome. After six kids, my mom is a very patient person, so it was great to listen to the anger slowly building as the conversation drew out.  I had really really really hoped that she would have blamed it on my youngest brother who occasionally stays there on weekends, but unfortunately that was an opportunity lost.

Right now I’m just glad that I’m in CA, while my mom is over in NY. Art, however is much closer and should probably watch his back should the wrath of Sarah come looking for him. Happy April Fool’s Day mom. That was the last prank I’ll pull on her, but don’t worry. I have three sisters and two brother’s to prey upon for future pranks.

Here’s a few videos my sister captured of the call: