My entire life I’ve been a huge baseball fan. Now that I have a son, I want to teach him all about baseball. I figured what better way to get him started, then have him drafted into the Major Leagues. Here is a letter which I mailed today to Major League Baseball, asking if they will declare him eligible for the 2013 MLB Draft.
Here is that same letter, in a text version:
March 5, 2013
Dear Major League Baseball,
I’m writing as I would like to declare my son eligible for the 2013 Major League Baseball Draft.
After reviewing the Official Draft Rules, I’m proud to say that my son is (1) a resident of the United States, and (2) has never signed a Major League or Minor League contract before.
I did read “certain groups of players are ineligible for selection, because they are still in school.” My son has not actually started school yet, which should make him fully eligible, right?
As a baseball fan myself, I know that MLB is looking for a handsome, talented, drug-free superstar who can fill the seats in stadiums. I believe that my son meets all of those requirements.
(1) He’s darn handsome. Ladies love him, guys want to be friends with him. Plus, the easy access to the best plastic surgeon in Chicago sure does help him look young.
(2) He’s extremely talented. This boy pushes an entire car (toy car, that is) up and down our driveway every morning.
(3) He is as clean (drug-free) as they come. My wife and I have literally watched every single thing he has eaten for the past 14 months. However, I fully disclose that he intakes about ¼ cup of dog slobber ever day.
(4) He can bring in an entirely new fan base. For his most recent birthday party, we were expecting a 90% turnout of invited guests. Unfortunately, an ear infection shortened the guest list to just close family. Everybody WOULD have been there, though. The same will be the case when he makes his first star in the Major Leagues.
In closing, we really hope you consider allowing Tommy Riles to enter the 2013 Major League Baseball Draft. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he gets drafted wherever Ozzie Guillen lands next. Much like Ozzie, I can’t understand anything my son says, so hopefully they’ll be able to communicate.
