Babs turned one year old on Saturday. We couldn’t be prouder of her. Her health is great, and she is really thriving. This made me think back to exactly where we were one year ago. Here is the very first entry I wrote for Life of Dad:
February 28, 2010
That's my girl.
I sat down tonight wanting to write a funny, clever, and touching story about my 30 hour old baby, Barbara Anne. While trying to think of what to write about, I was watching my baby cry, breath, and live.
Then I realized that right now, for this moment, I couldn’t write. All I wanted to do was watch her. I want to sing to her when she cries. I want her to hold my finger while she dozes off to sleep. I want to run my hands through her hair, and rub her feet.
I’m a very motivated guy, always looking for the next project, and taking my career to the next step. This won’t change, but for right now, I just want my baby. I want time to stand still. I want my wife, my baby, and me in a room together, just being.
Sadly, it’s not that easy. Our baby has a heart defect, and she has had two echocardiograms, an EKG, and a hospital transfer in the first 30 hours of her life. Barbara has another echocardiogram scheduled for tomorrow morning, and heart surgery for later this week.
But you know what? I love what is happening right now. I don’t love that she is sick, but I just can’t imagine it any other way. Lucy and I can handle this, and we will. Barbara Anne is going to be home in a few weeks, and I wouldn’t trade this time with her for anything.
I just like watching Barbara breath.
Her chests rises, and it goes down. Her stomach does the same. Her feet wiggle, and her hand reaches for my finger. She cries, and I sing until she stops. I’ll sing anything from Stevie Wonder to Eminem, and she loves it.
Life will continue soon, but for now, this is all that I want. Breath. Cry. Live. Love.
Then of course, I went to my laptop, and wrote this all down.