Tommy Boy is in mid-squirt right here.

Sunday was our son’s baptism.  Tommy Boy was wearing a pure white gown, passed down for generations in my wife’s family.  He was wrapped in a beautiful white blanket, and he had never looked cleaner or holier.

Friends and family had flown in for the sacrament, and we were all seated in the church, listening to our priest describe the history of a baptism.

I was holding Tommy in my hands and he was completely calm.  Then…

SQUIRT.

It was the “squirt” heard round the church.  It echoed through the pews as all in attendance wondered which of the babies about to be baptized had “squirted.”

I was holding the prize in my hands.    It should also be noted that I was wearing my best suit, with a white dress shirt.  This could get ugly, and cleanup could be expensive.  I judged based on the magnitude of this “squirt” that there was a 70% chance of leakage.  I picked him up, gave the diaper a quick peak, and discovered that it wasn’t leaking…yet.

My wife grabbed our boy and started heading for the back of the church immediately.  She knew time wasn’t on our side.  Being the superhero mom that she is, Lucy changed him and within a few minutes, Tommy Boy was back in my hands. Lucy also let me know that the diaper he was now wearing was not a good one, and if it happened again, it would probably leak.

Regardless, we had not choice but to start heading to the altar for his baptism.

We were next in line when…

SQUIRT.

It was an aftershock.

My mind and body went into a slight panic, but after checking the evidence, I determined that this “squirt” was only a 1.7 for the Sqichter scale.  I knew we were going to be all right.  The worst “squirt” of the day was behind us.

This much I know.  There will be another “squirt” someday soon.  Will I be prepared?  Will I act fast enough?

Share your favorite “squirt” story here…