…So we grew together
like to a double cherry, seeming parted,
but yet a union in partition,
two lovely berries molded on one stem…
~William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
This past week found my loving family and I enjoying a much needed vacation down the Jersey shore, in wildwood to be exact. Some time spent having fun in the waning days of the summer sun was just what we needed. This short respite offered the Wife and I a chance to get into a peaceful headspace. Reason being that, in a little over a week we will be facing a trifecta of Kleenex moments. First of which is our twins turning five, it doesn’t seem at all possible that the small bundles that we proudly held five years ago, are vivacious, smart, free spirited five year old “kids”. Shortly after that they will be entering Kindergarten, to add to that, in my family’s case this day is doubly daunting, our twins, Connor & Grace, will be setting off solo for the first time. All parents steady themselves for the arrival of this day, it is a case of one door closing while another opens, literally. I’m confident that the twins will handle this process with much more composure than Mommy and Daddy. All their social experiences up to this point have been shared. Since they first entered Daycare and through Pre-K, they have always had the comforting knowledge that they were standing next to each other. Last spring my Wife and I sat down and began the process of discussing whether or not to separate the twins for Kindergarten. We both had strong opinions on the subject, as would be expected. Several strong arguments were made to support each side. This decision would have a lasting impact, for better or worse, for the next several years. Ultimately, the deciding point was that splitting them up would offer Grace the opportunity to be in a setting with a both a teacher and an aide. This would offer he a little extra help and hopefully give her some extra attention.
As the day draws closer, the twins seem both excited & cautious about facing the day. For instance Grace will state how excited she is to make new friends, yet, often in the same breath; she will worry about when she will see Connor. Now, what truly worries me about that statement is that Grace is the more independent of the two. Connor relies on Grace as a security blanket more than she does him. We are making a concerted effort to assure the twins that while they will be separated, the experience will bring them closer together, if that is possible. Grace has mentioned that she wonders what she will do if a boy pushes her down and Connor is not there. We explained that she should do the same thing as if he were there, tell the teacher. I’m sure Connor is equally unsure and nervous about the situation. He is after all the boy that doesn’t want to leave his Sister and get his own room, so this is a big deal for both of them. While I am worried about what the school year holds in store for them, I am confident that they possess the needed tools to thrive and be successful. I feel that this change will allow both of them to grow, and discover how to stand tall on their own. That is the dilemma that all parents of twins face at one time or another. How do you best nurture their dependency for one another while also pushing them to be “themselves”? In our case, having a boy and a girl, it would seem a little easier. They have some different interests, some different friends, etc. However, there is something to be said for the special bond between twins, regardless of gender, they really are one soul in two distinct bodies.
I have many hope, wishes, and dreams for my babies as they enter this next stage of their lives. I hope that their fear and trepidation is offset by the wonder of learning new things and the joy of meeting new and exciting people. I wish that they both prosper and find the footing they need to move along year to year, and to thrive in all they seek to do. I dream that they follow their dreams, whatever they may be from day to day, or year to year. I know that the road lying before them will not always be smooth. That is a blessing, for a road that is smooth does not provide the needed bumps and curves that are needed to truly learn who we are. The one thing I can count on is that they will always know that they are there to love and support each other. They will know that four walls and a door are not enough to keep their spirits separated. Connor and Grace, hopefully in a few years you will read these words back to me, and we will sit back and have a good laugh at how worried Mommy & Daddy were. So, to all you parents that may be stepping onto the same road as me, this year, in a few years, or have already traveled this road, I hope you can all relate, and I hope all of you take a moment to hug them before those doors open.
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