This is an extension of a great blog by codercowboy here.
Back in 2011, I was fortunate enough to follow my dream of being a animator through Animation Mentor. It’s a fantastic school with instructors that currently work in animation studios like Disney, Pixar, DreamWorks, etc. I’ve convinced my wife that this is it – my calling. The thing that will make me happy for the rest of my life.
Within few months I was committed to 18-month of homework, late-night video instructions and a hefty tuition. I poured myself in to the course as much as possible putting in extra-hours, submitting my works early for extra bit of feedbacks.
But after 2 semester, I began to realize how difficult this path really was, and it really started to scare me. With 2 small kids and all the other responsibility that comes with having a family, I started to realize that dreams sometimes are, well… dreams. I don’t want to discourage anyone from following their dream, but for me personally – the romance of being a cool animator for a big-budget studio came crashing to reality after seeing all the incredibly talented future-animators. I was fairly good, but to be the best – I would be forced to submit myself to the job completely. And honestly, I didn’t want to do that.
I love spending time with my family. I love being able to lazily sit with my wife and share some intimate time. I love having to turn-off my work when I come home. To be a fantastic animator, you would be living the life 24-hours a day, 365 days a year (at least in the beginning as a junior animator.) This meant that I would miss out of my kids growing up, I would have to miss most of their firsts (recital, games, parties, etc.) Also, I would be forced to uproot my family and re-locate to whatever studio would be willing to hire me. And once hired, it’s usually a contractual gigs, not a full-time job with some security.
I was at a cross road – do I quit? do I push through and hope it works out for the best? do I tell my wife? do I not tell her?
It took a lot of courage, but I finally sat my wife down and shared all of my thoughts. About my fears, and the uncertainty, everything that kept me awake at night just came flooding out. After a moment of pause, she bluntly told me that she was disappointed (which I was expecting) but also glad that I realized this sooner rather then later.
I think it’s really hard for us men – especially dads to talk to their significant others about their fears. We are taught by our fathers to “carry on,” we are taught to keep quiet and never show our weakness. But after being brutally honest with my wife, I came to realize that it’s okay to share your fear – after all, if you can’t share your worries with your partner, where is the relationship? I think we tend to underestimate how strong our wives are, sometimes I believe that she hold me together and lets me be the man that I need to be.
Now, I’m still working at a company that treats me well and I’ve learned to accept my current work as my career. I’ve even started to grow in the industry and I find myself enjoying what I do immensely more!