Guest Post From Friend of Life of Dad, The Mama Sagas
I can admit defeat.
Case in point: that time I was 37 weeks pregnant and unsuccessfully attempting to potty-train a 2-year-old. There is something about not being able to get up and down off the floor fast enough to clean the accidents left in the wake of a bare-bummed toddler running like a banshee through the house that will make you want to melt into a puddle of tears… Right next to the 3 other puddles you almost stepped in.
After months of half-successful potty-going, we decided we’d try the 3-day training program to see if we could nix the diapers once and for all. If you don’t know, now you know: the 3-day potty-training method is a self-imposed, 72-hour house arrest when you cut diapers cold turkey and hope for the best. I mean, there’s probably more to it than that, but that’s what I gathered from Pinterest. And in a moment of desperation – when I was staring down the impending arrival of our second child, dreading the hassle and cost of two kids in diapers – I decided to give it a go. On a weekend when my husband was travelling. I got this, I thought. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, I’ll tell you. The kid suddenly got stage fright. I sat her on the potty time and time again, and…. Crickets. I read story after story from my perch on the bathtub, and watched the clock tick. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. Still nothing. “Maybe we should try again later,” I would say as I helped her step down from her porcelain throne.
And BOOM. Within minutes of stepping away, there it was. The floodgates opened. The levy broke. Inevitably, she went with no problem as soon as she stopped trying. I would hoist her up and run—as fast as my toddler-hauling pregnant self could manage—back to the bathroom, leaving a trail of pee through the house. We had to get wet carpet restoration to clean and dry the carpets.
Some variation on this episode happened multiple times a day, for three days straight. So you can imagine, when my husband came home to an empty bathroom sticker chart and a house that smelled faintly like a port-o-john doused in Resolve, his aching pregnant wife was ready to scream.
The following weekend, I was the one travelling. It was my last work trip before baby #2’s arrival. After a weekend in New York I headed home, expecting to commiserate with my husband on the pains of potty-training as a solo parent. Instead, I came home to a loaded sticker chart and a child who was– could it be true?? – fully potty-trained.
How did he do it? Well, in a moment of sheer brilliance, he recalled an old college prank played on friends as they slept. He sat her on the potty, ran the faucet for good measure, and without saying a word, placed her hand in a cup of warm water… and there it was. The majestic sound of tinkling.
Every time she sat on the potty, he did the same thing. And every time, she peed.
In all my mommy-blogger, I-play-a-parenting-expert-on-tv glory, I was not the one who ultimately potty-trained our child. It was my husband, and his epic show of smarts and splendor demonstrated by a classic dad-hack, that won the battle over potty-training.
So, Dads, I will say this once, and once only. We moms like expert advice. We like to think we are doing things the right way, that our research and habitual pinning will give us the answers we need. But sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes all we need is for you to swoop in with the strength of a thousand men who aren’t trying nearly as hard, but get the job done anyway. Sometimes all we need is a dad-hack. So get in there. Do you. Parent the way that makes sense to you. We thank you for it.
Saralyn Ward is an award-winning storyteller, mountain mama and daydream believer. She’s the founder of The Mama Sagas, writes for several publications and hosts a regular parenting segment on Colorado’s Everyday Show. When she’s not huddled over edits, you’re likely to find Saralyn climbing peaks or skiing down them, and reminding herself that the two little girls that call her mom are not the boss of her. You can connect to Saralyn on Facebook or LinkedIn.