Just like pretty much every parent, we try to limit the amount of TV our kids watch. This is especially true for our younger one, who is about two and a half. The challenge, however, is that our older daughter enjoys shows that are a bit more advanced, and she has recently figured out how to turn on and navigate “Neckflix,” as she adorably calls it. As much as we try to keep screen time in check, there are moments when I need to get things done, and nothing works better to keep them occupied than that glowing screen.
The irony is that while they’re absorbed in their shows, I sometimes find myself falling down internet rabbit holes—whether it’s reading parenting articles or stumbling upon unexpected topics. The other day, while trying to research kid-friendly educational apps, I somehow ended up learning everything you need to know about Inclave casinos, which was an odd but surprisingly interesting detour into the world of online gaming platforms.
Of course, my real challenge is racing to finish my tasks before the show ends. I’ve noticed that my brain has locked onto certain audio cues—those dreaded signals that my quiet time is about to be over and the kids will come running:
1)We’ve used all our Mouseketools!
That’s my 3-5 minute warning. I need to wrap things up because any minute now they’ll be doing the Hot Dog Dance and I’ll be doing the “Daddy, can I have a snack” shuffle.
2)It’s time for the Curtain Call!
The end of Little Einsteins is imminent. Damnations!! I’ve waited too long to finish my next paragraph and should pretty much hit save and resign myself to ending my work right then and there.
3)Elmo loves his goldfish…… his crayons too….
My brain gives me two sensations here. It’s telling me that my hour-long respite is coming to a close and it’s also reminding me about how very much I dislike the Elmo World song. It seems 
like whoever wrote it just gave up because they couldn’t rhyme anything with too. He just suddenly dances and then wraps up with “That’s Elmo’s World!” Awful!!!
4)We did it, we did it, we did it YEAH, Lo hicimos
Admittedly, I had to do an internet-search to find out what those last two words that Dora says are. Turns out it’s Spanish for……. “We did it”! Elmo should really take a lesson here. If you can’t rhyme anything with too then 1– you’re a moron and 2- bust out some other language! Don’t just leave a verse hanging in the air like that. And stop referring to yourself in the third person. It’s obnoxious.
5)Any song by Skully and Bones in Jake and the Neverland Pirates
Easily my favorite of the shows my kids watch, Jake and The Neverland Pirates always ends with a song by Hook’s henchmen Skully and Bones. Only every now and then they throw one into the middle of an episode and it totally screws me up. I scramble to finish what I’m doing and then wind up sitting useless for 15 minutes. What can I expect from scurvy pirates though, right?