When my Wife was pregnant with our twins, Connor and Grace, I spent a lot of time sitting outside thinking about the changes coming my way.
OK, honestly, I spent most of that time drinking beer and listening to music, generally avoiding my very, very pregnant Wife and the mood swings that accompanied her everywhere, but occasionally a few thoughts slipped in.
In one such moment, I started thinking about how much fun Father’s Day was going to be.
Then I started thinking about why it was deemed Father’s Day, and not say, Daddy’s Day.
In my mind there was a huge difference between the two titles.
When my children took their first breath, I was bestowed the title of Father, it says so right on the birth certificate. However, the title of Daddy, well I would like to think that takes some earning.
Over the past several decades men have evolved from Father’s, to Daddy’s.
Long gone are the days of a Father coming home from a long day’s work, kicking off his boots and grabbing a scotch, firing up his pipe and becoming oblivious to his surroundings.
That is certainly not a reality in my household.
These days to earn the title of Daddy, you are expected to work just as hard at home as you do outside of it, if not more.
Now, a significant part of this evolutionary process is that many Mother’s work as hard outside of the house these days as they do in it.
We, as a society in general, lead much busier lives.
Where many children used to play freely in the streets after school and on weekends, they now play organized sports, are enrolled in dance schools, or belong to various clubs.
This means that Mommy or Daddy usually have to chauffer them back and forth.
Many places of employment also have non-tradition work hours, meaning parents are working odd hours.
The term “Housewife” has been rendered obsolete in the world we live in.
Our roles as parents have forever been changed; it’s a new song, the remix, if you will.
It’s no longer an amusement when a Daddy goes to see a child’s teacher, but standard issue.
A Daddy is expected to coach Little League, play dolls, and fix the roof, all with the same ease.
A Daddy acting befuddled and clumsy when asked to handle small children, no longer cuts the mustard.
A traditional Father would come home, hear that one of his children had misbehaved and immediately dole out some form of punishment.
A Daddy is expected to listen to his child, find the reason behind his misbehavior, explain why it was considered bad behavior, find a lesson in the situation…..then maybe find a mild form of punishment.
In a nutshell, a Daddy is now expected to be equal parts parent, friend, coach, and therapist.
This can be overwhelming for most men, certainly enjoyable and rewarding, but also very stressful.
If you can manage to keep all your balls in the air for any length of time without dropping them, then You can consider yourself a Daddy.
If you are still not quite sure of whether you qualify to be considered a Daddy, I offer up the following examples, in the tradition of Jeff Foxworthy.
1- If you can name the cast members of the Wiggles quicker than the NY Knicks starting five….you may be a Daddy.
2- If you can navigate stray Lego pieces in the dark with Ninja like precision…..you may be a Daddy.
3- If you would change the channel from a ballgame in the bottom of the ninth, in a tie game, to My Little Pony….you may be a Daddy.
4- If you can channel the spirit of MacGyver and make a meal from a can of tuna, some jellybeans & a tube of gogurt…..you may be a Daddy.
5- If an afternoon spot of tea with Dora, Minnie & Ariel sounds like a fine time…..you may be a Daddy.
6- If you have a drawer full of once worn t-shirts, with throw up stains on them…..you may be a Daddy.
7- If you have coached a ball game, in the blazing sun, after many drinks & 4 hrs. of sleep……you may be a Daddy.
8- If you have escorted a child to dance class, and had spirited debates with the other Mommy’s…you may be a Daddy.
9- If you have stifled a laugh, and acted dismayed, when told your child has said something inappropriate….you may be a Daddy.
10- If all these examples brought a sense of recognition and amusement to your face……you are certainly a Daddy.
This post is dedicated to all those who stay in the fight every day, who strive to raise your kids to be great adults, who want your kids to have better lives than yourself.
For all those Dads who work hard, play harder, and know it’s not just a title, it’s a way of life.
So come this Sunday, crack a cold one, fire up a grill, or do whatever you find rewarding, and take a bow, you have earned it.
Personally, I’m just hoping for a little peace, quiet, and the big piece of chicken!
So, in honor of all the men, and single Moms, who balance between being a parent and a friend to your children, I raise my Red Solo cup to you!
