I’m not sure if you heard because it was only carried by every single news outlet in the world, but this past weekend their was a Royal Wedding. Prince Harry of Nottinghamptonshirederry married Meghan Markle of Suits-ington. It seemed as though the entire world tuned in to watch the loving couple tie the knot and begin a new family. At least, according to my Facebook feed, the entire world was and they were passionately weepy about it. But I know there must be a fair amount of people like me who are happy that two complete strangers to me are getting married in some far off land, but also people who shrug in relative indifference.
It’s not like I have a lot invested in their lives. I wish the best for them, but there is no emotional involvement from this end. There are, however, a series of Royal Weddings that I have witnessed (or would love to have witnessed) that do tap into my emotional side. Weddings that I feel invested in, because I was able to walk through the journey that brought the couple to the alter. I know people out there are just like me. These are the Royal Weddings we wanted to watch.
Prince Lone Star and Princess Vespa
Who could forget the magical ceremony where the real Druish Princess marries Prince Lone Star instead of the lethargic Prince Valium. We also got to find out his trusty sidekick is named Barfolomew which was fantastic.
Princess Fiona and Shrek
He knew she was the one when she blew up a bird with her shrill voice. Pure magic.
Prince Naveen and Tiana
We loved how Prince Naveen could make the best out of all situations, and how Tiana kept him grounded in reality. It all distracted from the fact that they definitely spent the majority of this movie naked together before the wedding. Scandalous!
Prince Akeem and Lisa McDowell
So, they get to eventually rule Zamunda AND get free McDowell’s hamburgers whenever they’re on Queen’s Blvd?? Truly this is the happiest of endings. If only they had Sexual Chocolate perform at the reception.
Han Solo and Princess Leia
We never got to witness it, but we like to imagine that the scruffy Nerf Herder responded with “I Know” when she said she’d marry him.