Fellow Dads,
It was a good morning, but somewhat different than I would typically have liked: it was 5:30, and I sat on our old red couch in complete darkness across the living room from my wife, who had our boy perfectly asleep on her chest in the recliner. I had my coffee in hand and was praying to God for strength, peace, and hope when I realized: this is hard. And there’s a full diaper two feet from my left foot.
Ever since I graduated from undergrad, I’ve been a morning person.
I would wake up at about 4am and drink my coffee in the stillness of the morning. There is something about the quiet that allows my mind to clear: whether I’m reading, working, or praying to the Lord, I’ve found that this is my ‘primetime’ for mental clarity and efficiency. But if you’re bombarded with negativity lately, you can experience a breath of fresh air with sites like Mental Health Startups.
This time slot is typically anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours long depending on the morning. It is very important to me spiritually that I hear from God through prayer and/or through His Word, so much so that if I go more than a day or two without this part of my life I begin to notice the effects: anxiety over finances, increased irritability with the wife or others, discouragement in general, etc.
The point is that I do my best to protect this time. This is where I receive direction, discernment, and encouragement. When I perform these practices, I can walk forward towards my busy day of work and responsibilities knowing He is with me and will guide me.
The difference these days is that we have a 10 month-old.
For those of you with children, you know that this is a huge difference. Even in the past 10 months, many a morning ritual and routine have been ‘disrupted’ by our beautiful and precious baby boy. One of the most difficult parts of parenting so far is realizing that there are certain routines or habits that you have become dependent upon emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually, that MUST change now that you’ve suddenly added the responsibility of this little baby.
Things you used to refuse to give up for anybody, even your wife, have become obsolete, or the very least, look a lot different now with a child.
The fact of the matter is that our baby boy woke up at 4:30am this morning screaming his face off, and the only way to put him back to sleep was to have him sleep on my wife’s chest in the recliner. Simply put: We would not get our respective quiet time in on this morning and I would not be reading under the guidance of my reading lamp like my ‘usual’ routine.
The point goes further, though: these things spill over from quiet time in the early AM hours, which can be interrupted by a waking infant or small child, to realizing your old routine of exercising just won’t cut it anymore. It’s much harder to spend +20 hours each week in the gym or riding your bike or running around in your intramural leagues. Heck, I make a living training and coaching others to be fit, and even I am finding it extremely difficult to exercise as much as I know I need to.
Sorry, dad. No more 120 minute GTL (gym, tan, laundry) time.
So the question us dads must continually ask ourselves is: how do we value what’s important (like waking up with the baby or allowing our routines to be interrupted for good reasons such as familial responsibilities) but still pursue a life of health?
It’s been important to my spiritual health to get that time in the morning… but what do I do when I don’t get that time?
As men and dads, we’ve got to learn to build discipline and resiliency. How do we do that, though, without simply ascribing to the ‘just do it’ or ‘try harder’ mantra?
Why can’t we seem to do we say we are going to do when it comes to our fitness or other health goals?
I’ve dedicated my life to learning what it actually takes to become fit and healthy: a journey away from heart disease and diabetes, and towards resiliency and sustainable growth.
If you’ll join me, I promise to pay forward everything that I’ve learned over the years regarding the many different aspects of health. Our health is not a singular topic, but a fragile combination of areas such as our systems of accountability, nutrition, habit development, exercise, and personal & spiritual development.
Wherever you’re at, know this: there is a better way. You don’t have to sacrifice family time OR your job in order to regain control of your health.
For now, though, my son is awake again. It’s time for my morning playtime with him.
Signing Off,
Cody Weber
Simple Health Dad