If you are a father going through a divorce, your biggest concern may be whether you will get custody of your child. Many fathers worry about this issue because they believe the myth that “moms always get custody.” The reality is much different.
Many years ago, North Carolina followed the “tender years” doctrine. Under this doctrine, it was presumed that the mother would be better suited than the father to have custody of a child during his or her younger years.
Today, however, child custody in North Carolina is based on what would serve the best interests of the child. There is no presumption in favor of either the father or the mother.
The Best Interests of the Child Standard
The “best interests” standard recognizes that both the mother and father can offer a great deal of love, care and support for a child.
A court must weigh all relevant factors, including the relationship between the child and each parent, each parent’s physical and mental ability to meet a child’s physical and emotional needs, and in some cases, the preferences of the child.
Whether there is a history of domestic violence also receives consideration. Which custody arrangement would protect the child and promote his or her safety? You’d have to contact a domestic violence lawyer to get all the details.
The “best interests” standard also recognizes that other factors should play a role in child custody determinations. For instance, which custody arrangement would allow the child to:
- Pursue the best education
- Continue practicing his or her religion
- Maintain bonds with the child’s brothers and sisters?
You Have the Right to Seek Custody of Your Child
The fact that a court must make a determination based on a child’s best interests means that it is very possible for a father to seek and receive primary physical custody or joint custody of a child rather than just visitation rights.
If you think that it is within your child’s best interests for you to have joint or sole custody, you will need to build a strong case that provides evidence of this belief to the court.
Testimony of friends, neighbors, family members and the child’s teachers or school counselors could carry significant weight.
You can also meet with a child psychologist who can attest to the benefits that your child would potentially gain by living with you.
While you should never ask your child to make a decision about with whom the child wants to live, your child can share with a court their feelings about their relationship with you. (The child’s maturity level, not the child’s age, is the factor that goes into determining whether the child’s preference carries weight.)
Remember: If you are a dad who is going through a divorce and are afraid that your spouse will get full custody or primary physical custody of your child based on the simple fact that she is the child’s mother, think again: Both fathers and mothers in North Carolina have an equal right to custody. Increase your chances of getting custody with help from divorce lawyers. You may also consider hiring DuPage County divorce lawyers if you need immediate legal assistance. You may learn more about divorce and child custody here.
You should seek assistance from an experienced visitation lawyer or child custody lawyer to learn more about what you can do to pursue the arrangement that you believe would work best for your child.