Every kid has dreams. I’ve even heard that some kids dream in rainbows, and only have happy thoughts of unicorns and daisy’s. But what happens when those dreams go awry?
For a boy, those inappropriate dreams are often all too familiar, and start about the time he notices that boys and girls are indeed different. But for girls? That territory is completely foreign to me. Pre-fatherhood, I would have welcomed the idea that girls were falling madly in love (among other things) with me while they slept. However, now that I have two daughters, as far as I’m concerned, they are, and forever will be asexual beings, who only interact with males when completely necessary.
So I was horrified when at the dinner table, my kindergartener… yes kindergartener, told me she had an inappropriate dream. Luckily, I kept a cool head and asked her what that meant. She replied “we were doing something that I only do to mommy and daddy.” My first thought was that she kneed this poor kid in the crotch, because that seems to be her favorite activity… but then I remembered telling her the only ‘boy’ she should kiss is daddy. She had a dream about kissing a boy!
I am not ready for this, not here, not now, not ever.