For the first month of his life, there was at least a 65% chance that my son, Tommy Boy, was indeed a vampire. I say this for three reasons:
1) He had a rather pale skin tone.
2) He slept all day, and would only open his eyes at night.
3) His favorite thing in the world is to suck fluids (milk) out of humans.
As a parent that will love his kids not matter what, I was beginning to be okay with this. One of my wife’s favorite shows is “True Blood,” and we all know that “Twilight” has been a huge success. Needless to say, vampires have become rather popular in the past five years, so if my son was one, I would be supportive. And he would get some great baby vampire acting gigs.
However, in an odd twist of fate, the last three nights Tommy Boy has started to sleep much better. How did this start, you ask?
1) Lucy feeds him his special milk.
2) I wrap him in an extremely tight swaddle.
3) I rock him to sleep at a calorie burning quick pace.
For the first few minutes I’m rocking him, Tommy is screaming like a horror film, but then something magical happens.
He falls asleep.
And he has slept for 4-5 hours straight. As I wake up to check on him, I half expect him to be out with his hoodlum friends searching the San Fernando Valley for blood.
But…he’s always in his crib. When he does wake up, he drinks mama milk, and then goes back to sleep.
Will this last? It’s impossible to tell. But I must say, I’m very excited that I can utter these words…
“My Son May Not Be a Vampire After All.”
But it would have been okay if he was.